Blonde Humor Quotes

“What's so funny?" Bella mumbled.
"I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again.
"I'm not going to forget this, dog," Rosalie hissed.
"S'not so hard to erase a blond's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."
Get some new jokes, "Rosalie snapped.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

“You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“Ew. Someone put the dog out, "Rosalie murmured wrinkling her nose.
Have you herd this one, Psycho?
how do a blond's brain cells die?"
She didn't say anything.
Well?" I asked."Do you know the punch line or not?"
She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.
Has she heard it?" I asked Edward.
No." He answered.
Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker--a blond's brain cells die alone.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

“There's only one sort of natural blonde on earth - albinos.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Hey, do you know what you call a blond with a brain?" I asked, and the continued on the same breath, "a golden retriever."
I've heard that one, too," she said, no longer smiling.
I'll keep trying." I promised.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

“I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb - and I'm not blonde either.”
― Dolly Parton

“She was what we used to call a suicide blonde-- dyed by her own hand.”
― Saul Bellow

“I felt like the blonde in every horror movie who hears a noise in the basement and goes to investigate alone. Sometimes you smell the stupid all around you, but you step in it anyway.”
― Ann Aguirre, Blue Diablo

“... were trying to tell the dumb blonde to close her mouth, but the woman clearly took her hair color very seriously.”
― Sharon Green, Wind Whispers, Shadow Shouts

“Multi cauta paradisul cu o blonda pe o insula pustie, nestiind ca acolo se afla doar insula si ceva numit prostie.”
― Mircea Popister