Cave Johnson Quotes

“Science isn't about WHY, it's about WHY NOT!”
― J.K. Simmons

“I been thinken'. when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!! get mad! I dont want your damn lemons! demand to see life's manager! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna' burn your house down! with the lemons!”
― Cave Johnson Portal 2

“They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. —Not here. At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch, no hand-holding.”
― JK Simmons

“Those of you helping us test the repulsion gel today, just follow the blue line on the floor. Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts.”
― Cave Johnson - Portal 2

“The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this - and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her.”
― Cave Johnson - Portal 2