Deadpan Humor Quotes

“That was a hell of a thing.”
― Engineer Fred Kwan Galaxy Quest

“Don't you think they could be interested in progress?"

"They've seen some of it. There's only one aspect of progress that really excites them."

"What's that?"

"The electric guitar.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Cat’s Cradle

“Don't you think they could be interested in progress?"
"They've seen some of it. There's only one aspect of progress that really excites them."
"What's that?"
"The electric guitar.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Cat’s Cradle

“Wring his neck, then boil him! Make sure he’s nice and tender too. I’ll come back to eat him this evening.”
― Seirrielle Olyveire, Wangye, Your Consort Is a Walking Disaster: (Esthalis: Nire)

“You fool… lying there like a wooden log stretching out a branch at me all night.”
― Seirrielle Olyveire, Wangye, Your Consort Is a Walking Disaster: (Esthalis: Nire)

“If I don’t hurry up and have fun with him early on, he’ll probably get old and die after just a few breaths.”
― Seirrielle Olyveire, Wangye, Your Consort Is a Walking Disaster: (Esthalis: Nire)

“Think of it like you accidentally stepped in mud once. You just dipped your foot in water, shook it twice, and the mud fell right off.”
― Seirrielle Olyveire, Wangye, Your Consort Is a Walking Disaster: (Esthalis: Nire)

“I only just learned today that Wei Kingdom is so desperately short of men that the Fifth Princess must come steal—er... ‘request’ someone else’s husband.”
― Seirrielle Olyveire, Wangye, Your Consort Is a Walking Disaster: (Esthalis: Nire)