Dickwad Quotes

“Yes, the hermitage is underground--miles beneath the surface of Antarctica. And yes, Ike refers to it as unten--literally 'under' or 'below.' But, hello, it's 'hyperborean'--of or relating to the arctic, frigid, very cold. The opposite of infernally hot. Well, what if it's WAY underground down near the inner core of the earth, where it's like 10,000 degrees? Well, what if it's up your ass where it's like 10,000,000 degrees? Well, what if you're a cocksucking dwarf racist retard midget dickwad? Well, what if you're a fucking scatological-bakery urinal-cake-boss motherfucking fist-fucked cow-pie anal-fissureman motherfucker?”
― Mark Leyner, The Sugar Frosted Nutsack

“Are you okay? Did that dickwad do or say something out of pocket to you?”
Her eyes slid open. “Dickwad?” she murmured. “Have you been watching Animal House or some other raunch com or something from the eighties? Or the nineties?”
― Jamie Wesley, Fake It Till You Bake It