Discordianism Quotes

“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”
― Hermann Hesse, Steppenwolf

“Who knows? Life may just be a Positive Conspiracy bent on putting us in the right place at the right time every living, breathing moment of the day. It just takes a certain kind of perspective to see this. Realizing this can put our "analyzer" on hold, our interpretive mind on "ga-ga" and our hearts on breathless.”
― Antero Alli, Angel Tech: A Modern Shamans Guide to Reality Selection

“If organized religion is the opium of the masses, then disorganized religion is the marijuana of the lunatic fringe.”
― Kerry Thornley

“You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.
I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free”
― Malaclypse the Younger, Principia Discordia ● Or ● How I Found Goddess and What I Did to Her When I Found Her: The Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger

“If you reject Absolute Truth, as Discordians do, you are thereby claiming that any doxa (opinion, belief ) is as valid as any other doxa, and thus we enter the absurdist world of non-knowledge, of “all truths” = “all lies”. There is neither truth nor falsehood, just what people arbitrarily choose to call truth or falsehood at any instant, according to their shifting beliefs, opinions and speculations. This is exactly what the Discordians subscribe to in their demented war against knowledge and truth. Discordians are ignoramuses who oppose and sneer at reason and logic. They are those who burn down the Tree of Knowledge , without ever having eaten from it. Instead, they have devoured the fruit of the Tree of Ignorance.”
― Brother Cato, Illuminism Contra Discordianism

“Everybody I know who is right always agrees with me.”
― Rev Lady Mal

“If you reject Absolute Truth, as Discordians do, you are thereby claiming that any doxa (opinion, belief ) is as valid as any other doxa, and t hus we enter the absurdist world of non-knowledge, of “ all truths ” = “ all lies ” . There is neither truth nor falsehood, just what people arbitrarily choose to call truth or falsehood at any instant, according to their shifting beliefs, opinions and speculations . This is exactly what the Discordians subscribe to in their demented war against knowledge and truth. Discordians are ignoramuses who oppose and sneer at reason an d logic. They are those who burn down the Tree of Knowledge , without ever having eaten from it . Instead, t hey have devoured the fruit of the Tree of Ignorance.”
― Brother Cato, Illuminism Contra Discordianism

“Discordians reject objective reality and promote subjective relativism. Any group that rejects reality is finished. Discordians live in their own fantasy world, and nothing is more attractive to stupid people than that. Discordians believe in “Chaos”, and this is the wet dream of all idiots since its where reason, logic, knowledge, and understanding are wiped out, thus ensuring that the dunces are no longer at any disadvantage in comparison with smart people.”
― Brother Cato, Illuminism Contra Discordianism

“Make no mistake, the war between Illuminists and Discordians is the war between intelligent people and stupid people, rationalists and irrationalists, Logos and Mythos, evolution and dinosaurs, order and chaos, understanding and incomprehension, Truth and “all truths” (= no truths), objectivity and subjectivity, absolutism and relativism, knowledge and ignorance ("Humans know nothing"), answers and no answers. Which side are you on?! Discordians don’t want to “know”. They want to not know and to sneer at all Gnostics, scientists and mathematicians (knowers and learners), and call them liars or deluded. We, however – using the motto of the Enlightenment, of the Age of Reason – resoundingly reply ... Sapere Aude (“Dare to Know”)”
― Brother Cato

“All truths” = “no truths” = “all lies”. All three conditions become indistinguishable since people believe whatever they like; truth content is abolished!”
― Brother Cato, Illuminism Contra Discordianism

“People with no qualifications whatsoever in mathematics, science and philosophy continuously proclaim, “My ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” In fact, one of their tactics is to attempt to demolish knowledge by claiming that whatever anyone says is just “subjective”. Are science and math as “subjective” as Eastern religion? Science and math objectively landed men on the moon!”
― Brother Cato, Illuminism Contra Discordianism

“The trouble with Discordians is that they irrationally believe that they are making some statement about actual Truth (even though their system defines itself as having no connection with the Truth) when in fact they are merely commenting on their own skeptical belief system which denies the Truth. They believe that their anti-Truth beliefs have a bearing on the Truth!”
― Adam Weishaupt, Contra Mundum