Domestic Abusers Quotes

“Authoritarian, secretive, sometimes grandiose, and even paranoid, the perpetrator is nevertheless exquisitely sensitive to the realities of power and to social norms. Only rarely does he get into difficulties with the law; rather, he seeks out situations where his tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired. His demeanor provides an excellent camouflage, for few people believe that extraordinary crimes can be committed by men of such conventional appearance.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

“When a man gets serious about changing he has to be willing to look at the choices he is making every day, from the most trivial to the most significant.
He has to accept that no one and nothing other than him is determining what he does. If he backslides into drinking, if he returns to abusive behavior, if he cheats on his partner, it's because that's what he decided to do. In short:

His change depends on his willingness to accept complete responsibility for his own actions. He has to stop blaming them on you, on his addic tion, on his childhood, or on anything else.”
― Lundy Bancroft, The Joyous Recovery: A New Approach to Emotional Healing and Wellness