Earl Quotes

“She told me to wait,that I was going to lose a finger." Earl looked toward the kitchen and back at Ty and Duece. He snorted. "I asked her, did she think I was stupid? Then a couple of snips later, whack. Off went the finger. And you know what that woman said to me? I said 'Mara you cut my finger off.' And your mother said to me, 'Well Earl who's stupid now?”
― Abigail Roux, Stars & Stripes

“You don't know shit, man," he said finally. He was brisk and sad at the same time. "I hate to get on you for this. I'm not getting on you for this, but I'm just telling you. This is the first... negative thing that happened to you in your life. And you can't be overreacting to it and making big-ass expensive decisions based on it. I'm just saying. People die. Other people do stupid shit. I’m surrounded by family members doing stupid shit. I used to think I had to do shit for them. I still wanna do shit for them. But you gotta live your own life. You gotta take care of your own shit before you get started doing things for errybody else.”
― Jesse Andrews, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

“Would you like me to court you?” the earl finally asked.
YES. She smoothed her hands over her skirts to keep from confessing it aloud. “I would like to know if you are,” she replied. “Or what your intentions are, if you aren’t.”
“My intentions . . .” His slow smile acted like a torch held to her skin. She felt prickly with heat and yet transfixed by the glowing allure of it. “I intend to have you, Maggie, in every way a man can have a woman. I want your hand in mine while we dance. I want you laughing beside me in the theater. I want you lying naked in my arms at night. And I want you standing beside me in church, saying ‘I will.’ ”
― Caroline Linden

“I’m surrounded by family members doing stupid shit. I used a think I had to do shit for them. I still wanna do shit for them. But you gotta live your own life. You gotta take care a your own shit before you get started doing things for errybody else.”
― Jesse Andrews, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

“Quiet fell upon the pickup and lasted for a little over nineteen minutes.
Is that why you hang around with him?", Loretta asked. "Cuz he saved your life?"

"Sort'a. I know Earl isn't always easy to get along with. Fact is, he can be a real pain the ass more often than not, but after you spend enough time with him, and you learn to ignore his personality, he's a pretty decent guy."

"If you say so.”
― A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

“The old man kept going about how he could never keep her home, how she loved to roam. He said she should have been a sheep in the foothills of Scotland. Now if that wasn't a load of shit I don't know what is. I'll tell you why that sheep roamed. The fences around here was held up with goddamn binder twine and half-assed prayers. That's why.”
― Susan Juby, Home to Woefield

“Alyssa tried to lift her chin. She was going to do the one thing she loved again- something that reminded her of her mother; something dear to her. So what if she felt this undeniable attraction toward the dark-haired man.
Correction.
Earl.
So what, indeed.”
― Nicole Castro, Stone and Glass

“You strike me as a good man, Commander, but where the good are put in charge of the wicked, empires will be destroyed. It is when the wicked are given oversight of the good, does empire become strong.”
― Rehan Khan, A Tudor Turk

“Wake Up, Earl!™”
― Kris Courtney, Florida Retirement Is Murder