Email Quotes

“The problem with sending messages was that people responded to them, which meant one had to write more messages in reply.”
― Arkady Martine, A Memory Called Empire

“Are you sure about that he called off the wedding, Jolene? Sometimes Zeb misspells stuff in e-mails, and it comes across badly.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“I HAVE TO MEET HIM.
I don’t think I can keep this up. I don’t care if it ruins everything. I’m this close to making out with my laptop screen.”
― Becky Albertalli, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

“I'd rather be single, happy, and lonely sometimes than married, lonely, and happy sometimes.”
― Mark Fiore, You Are Loved . . . an email memoir

“Amen' is like the Send button on an email.”
― Steve Toltz, A Fraction of the Whole

“It's quicker, easier, and involves less licking”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmai.com: Something's wrong! The house is shaking!

TO:rosencrantzpinchard@gmail.com: Well can you turn down the volume on Star Trek:Voyager? I thought we were having an earthquake when the Enterprise hit Warp speed. Why did you let me sleep until nearly one?”
― Robert Bryndza, The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard

“Cellaholics are those who interrupt quality time when they are with you, but rather text, call, and email others who are somewhere else. ”
― Jayce O'Neal

“There are no secrets on the Internet”
― Paul Babicki

“She's a love letter girl in an email world.”
― Nitya Prakash, Letters to Mira!

“A better strategy for shifting other’s expectations about your work is to consistently deliver what you promise instead of consistently explaining how you’re working.”
― Cal Newport, A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload

“you think youseeme but you dont”
― P.J. Petersen

“Be with someone who emails you when you switch off Social media.”
― Sarvesh Jain

“Most people haven't been to Paris at all."
"Not unless you're counting Paris, Texas."
"Or Paris, Illinois."
"Paris, Maine," Neil countered.
"Paris, Idaho," I added with a nod. "And Paris, Arkansas."
"There's a Paris, Arkansas?" Neil asked, eyebrows high.
"Yup. Kentucky, too. And a couple others..."
"How do you know this?"
"A potent blend of Where in America Is Carmen Sandiego?, curiosity, and the Internet."
"Who said technology never offered anything useful?"
"I'm guessing victims of e-mail scams.”
― Hillary Manton Lodge, Reservations for Two

“Most people frequently waste their life, mostly in front of a screen.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“One of her most reached-for truisms was that some percentage of jobs were indistinguishable from one another, as they all involved the sending of emails assessing the job itself.”
― Rumaan Alam, Leave the World Behind

“When you've got your devices down to the ideal number, use these tips to minimize them and prevent distractions:
- Remove as many icons from your desktop as possible.
- Uninstall software you don't need.
- Delete unneeded files from your Documents folder. (If you don't want to delete them completely, at least move them to an archive folder so they don't clutter your most-used folder anymore.)
- Develop a simple but logical folder structure so that you can find documents you want easily.
- Unsubscribe to blogs, email newsletters, and advertisements that no longer serve your interests.
- Delete internet bookmarks, cookies, and temporary internet files you no longer need.
- Delete apps you don't need, remembering that if you need them later, you can always download them again. Put only your most crucial apps (such as your calendar and your phone) on your home screen. Put the rest in folders on your second screen.
- Turn off notifications, including social media push notifications and email audio alerts.
- Make sure your spam filters are working.
- Delete photos that are of poor quality or that you don't need.
- Delete unused music and movies.
- Subscribe to a password manager so that you don't have to keep track of a bunch of passwords.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“I recently got into a war of words with a coworker regarding the proper solution to a problem with one of our products. As an aside, let me say that e-mail is never ever ever never ever the right way to resolve controversy. Too much subtlety is lost when you’re YELLING IN ALL CAPS at your program manager. Don’t waste your time solving problems in e-mail. Stand up. Walk down the hall. And look the person in the eye. You’ll live longer.”
― Michael Lopp, Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager

“I have a cellphone I rarely use. I use a wired ethernet computer to video chat and email family and friends.”
― Steven Magee

“Don’t pretend to be my friend

At the beginning of the pandemic, I got a flurry of emails from companies and stores who were all very keen to be my friend and help get me through these tough times. The CEO of Woolworths started emailing me personally and including a picture of himself. ‘Dear Kitty,’ he wrote, before going on to tell me all sorts of tales about the crazy capers the Woolies staff had been up to that I can’t quite remember (he did get on a bit, I think he might have been lonely). Furniture store West Elm also emailed to say they had my back. Thanks, guys! Specifically, they wrote: ‘Whether it’s keeping the kids entertained or getting creative in the kitchen, West Elm is here to help.’ I was delighted. I wrote back to let them know I didn’t have an kids but that I could sure use a new sofa given that I was doing a lot more sitting on my arse these days. Maybe my email went to their junk folder, I don’t know, but I never did hear back from them.”
― Kitty Flanagan, More Rules for Life: A special volume for enthusiasts

“I should absolutely act on this email, which means I'll let it age like fine wine in my inbox instead, adding a layer of guilt each day.”
― Jesse J. Anderson

“I'm being haunted by your underwear.
Regards, Trystan L. Montgomery”
― Natasha Boyd, Accidental Tryst

“Beware of a woman who does not sign her name to her letters. She will bear watching. Aye, she has a past.”
― Gelett Burgess

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― Coinbase

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“If someone sent a text or even an email to break up with your mate you’d be like, What a dick. But no one can moan too much about receiving bad news via a letter, can they? It’s on paper. Someone wrote it with their hand, like Shakespeare or Kate Middleton, so it must be legit.”
― Chloe Seager, P.S. You're the Worst