Frederick Joseph Quotes

“Black children have to lose their innocence before white children do. They can't afford the luxury of just reading about the impact of racism and white supremacy in a book, because they're living it every day. Because oftentimes it means life or death.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Black people and people of color are taught in school, in the media, and in everyday interactions to be empathetic and understanding of white people and their history. But most white people never have to do the same for us.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“I've come to realize that a fear of accountability is why white people say things like 'I don't see color' and 'Why does everything have to be about race?' Because to see my color, to see my culture, to see my race, would also mean taking responsibility for how white people have historically treated people my color, with my culture, from my race.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Being someone who supports people of color and stands against racism isn't easy. Sometimes it requires sacrifice and having difficult conversations -- but that will never be as difficult as actually being impacted by racism.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“I trust you, and that why I'll be honest and tell you that change is not easy. For some people, it won't matter that we're friends, or that you're friends with people who are like me.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“The Black Friend is the person who is willing to speak the truth to the white people in their lives, to call them out when they do or say something hurtful, ignorant, or offensive.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“We need to do away with the idea of 'normal,' especially when it's used as a stand-in for 'mainstream' (whether that's white or anything else seen as such). Because at the heart of this difference between normal and abnormal is the belief that these so-called normal things are neutral.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“While this book is meant to be a guide for white people to understand and be better, it's important that white people also understand that it isn't the duty of Black people or people of color to explain things. I'm doing so because I hope it can ultimately make change for my community.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Where do white people start? How does someone learn empathy? Is it by watching a specific movie? Listening to an album? I think it starts with understanding.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“My focus is on using everything at my disposal, from storytelling to access to finances, to help create a better and freer future for all people of color, especially young people. In large part, this means finding ways to educate and inform the white people who want to listen and grow.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“It's not an easy thing, being the Black Friend. And it's certainly not a role every Black person should be expected to take on. But those of us who choose to play that role do so because we know that by helping our white friends become better people, we help make the world a little bit better for the rest of us.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“This book is meant to provide teaching moments, cultural history, and context for white people. But just as important, this book is also supposed to provide affirmations for people of color -- that you are seen and loved.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“The world needs to be better, and because of the power that white people hold in our society, much of that change needs to start with white people.”
― Frederick Joseph

“Talking about and combating racism doesn't 'make everything about race' -- racism makes everything about race, and racism can be found in every part of society.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“The idea of being color-blind and of trying to steer conversations away from race are the most manipulative and powerful tools of racism. They allow white people to continue to be comfortable.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“The inability of people to accept accountability for doing things that are wrong is in the DNA of America. It's why people can't accept that America was founded on land stolen from indigenous people and that Black people are still feeling the legacy of slavery.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“All Lives Matter is directly related to white people not wanting to see color and not wanting to make things about race.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“We need to uplift the importance of Black lives because so many people act as if those lives don't count.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Some white people don't assume people of color to be dynamic or layered, because many white people have never had to be dynamic or layered themselves.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“A large part of white privilege is that it steers white people toward their cultural comfort zones.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“I'm asking you to protect one another and learn from one another. I'm asking you to turn 'different' into the new normal, and then tell others to do the same.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“From white women wearing their hair in box braids to non-Native Americans wearing stereotypical Native American attire on Halloween (or anytime), cultural appropriation is one of the most frequently disrespectful and racist occurrences in society.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Part of what makes cultural appropriation so problematic is that it ignores the need for understanding the actual history and people who own the culture. People can learn and appreciate, but unless they are from that group, they can never fully understand.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“No one would be comfortable being racist around someone who truly stands against racism, because they would know there'd be consequences.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“If I'm being honest with you, white people don't have to change; they will be fine without doing so. But white people should change, because just being fine shouldn't be good enough.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“There is a world that we can create that is stronger and more enjoyable if we all learn from one another and develop understanding that doesn't allow us to simply survive but to thrive.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“Affirmative action is letting some Black kids sit in the same row as most of the white kids. It's giving an opportunity to a person who would not otherwise have it because of discriminatory systems.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person

“We have to learn to see with new eyes, hear with new ears, and find new ways to trust other people's words when they tell us and show us how we're hurting them. Because doing the right thing sometimes means putting the pain of others before our own, especially if we are part of creating it.”
― Frederick Joseph, The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person