Funny Quotes About Relationships Quotes

“Apparently Trump voters think God meant for marriage to be between a man, his third wife, and several porn stars.”
― Oliver Markus Malloy, Inside The Mind of an Introvert: Comics, Deep Thoughts and Quotable Quotes

“I will forget you as soon as my head lays on someone else's arms. It's not a complicated science.”
― Mitta Xinindlu

“...Kellen, it’s all just trial and error and making up your mind to live with a shitload of errors.” “Thank you for ripping the romanticism right out of love and crushing it,” Kellen said dryly. “Well, there’s good things about loving someone too. If you pick the right one, you’ll know you have someone to stand beside you no matter what life throws your way. It’s all peaks and valleys. That’s what marriage is. You’re stuck in a rotation of loving someone with all your heart and wanting to smother them with a pillow. It gets better when you’re older because you’re too tired to start over, plus prison isn’t a good place for a woman in her seventies.” Kellen smiled at Trulee. “I don’t know if you realize this or not, but you’re steadily talking me out of wanting to fall in love.” “Let’s deal in reality, honey. If you and Stevie have a long life together, she will eventually have the desire to smother you. Sleep with one eye open, and don’t dry your socks in the microwave like your uncle did this morning. The damn thing smells like a pickle sweltering on fresh asphalt in August. I couldn’t even rewarm my coffee in it. I’m not a good person to talk to about love right now because I’m definitely on the wanting to smother side of the rotation.” “So you’re saying my problem with having to tell Walt might be resolved by tomorrow morning after you’ve smothered him?” Kellen asked with a laugh. “Maybe by this afternoon, Walt does like to take a nap after a fishing trip.” Trulee laughed, too, and bumped Kellen with her shoulder. “Think about this, too. You won’t only want to smother Stevie, you’re gonna want to take a pillow to everyone in her family. The saying ‘you marry your in-laws’ is very true.” “Whew, that’s a sobering thought.” “You hang on to those sobering thoughts for dear life. No one is completely perfect, we all come with baggage. I’d been married to Walt a few months when I learned he enjoyed yodeling, and he wasn’t even any good at it. That was the first little bag he unpacked, the second was full of belches and farts. I started unpacking my bags, too, and one of them had my momma in it. I had her over to the house all the time because I missed her. I have only encountered Joan Sealy twice, and if Stevie unpacks her, you’d better have a pillow handy.” Kellen grinned. “Stop it.”
― Robin Alexander , Kellen's Moment

“We are happily married. She is happily, and I am married.”
― Anoir Ou-Chad

“I consider this book as my first. I have released many other projects before. But I didn't have full control in the revenue process. So, if I were a hip-hop artist, everything else I have released before would be my mix-tape.”
― Mitta Xinindlu, Lessons from Toddlers

“His love was overpriced, and she was on a budget.”
― Leah Cass

“I've fallen in love. I'm an ordinary woman. I didn't think such violent things could happen to ordinary people.”
― brief encounter, Blaze Romance Novels Mixed Book Set of 10

“The world says, "Rely on yourself," but You say, "Cast your cares on Me, and I will sustain you" (1 Peter 5:7). I trust in Your care.
The world says, "Trust people to solve your problems," but You say, "Some trust in chariots, but we trust in the name of the Lord" (Psalm 20:7). You are my rock and salvation.
The world says, "You're not good enough," but You say, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). I thank You for creating me in Your image.
The world says, "Revenge is sweet," but You say, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay" (Romans 12:19). Help me to forgive and let go of grudges.
The world says, "You're defined by your mistakes," but You say, "I will remember your sins no more" (Hebrews 8:12). I thank You for Your forgiveness and mercy.
The world says, "It's all about you," but You say, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). Help me to love others as I love myself.
The world says, "Fear is the key to survival," but You say, "Fear not, for I am with you" (Isaiah 41:10). I trust in Your presence and protection.
The world says, "Happiness comes from possessions," but You say, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3). Help me to find true happiness in You.”
― Shaila Touchton