Funny Smut Quotes

“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?

Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”
― Emma Chase, Tangled

“So you'll be my bodyguard for any guys who want to introduce me to anal?' I joke.

'I will defend your virtue and your ass to the death,' he says with a knightly vow.”
― Bianca Giovanni, Revealed

“Oh Lola's Boobs,' he says into my chest, 'I wish we knew each other better.'

I crack up laughing.

'What's that you say?' he jokes, putting his ear to my right breast. 'You wish you could come out to play more often but Lola doesn't let you? Well, that's a shame.”
― Bianca Giovanni, Revealed