Funnystory Quotes

“Miles grins and high-fives me.
"Are we evil or just immature?" he says.
"I think maybe just bitter," I reply.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“We should RSVP," I say. "They're not the bigger people. Fuck that!"
"Fuck that!" he agrees.
"Fuck that!" I half shout.
Mr. Dorner pounds on the wall. Miles presses a pointer finger to my lips. "Fuck that," he whispers.
"Fuck that," I whisper back.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“Onscreen is the image of a thirty-year-old Renée Zellweger, sporting red pajamas and belting a song into a rolled-up magazine.
"Oh my god, Miles," I say.
"What?" He says.
"You're watching Bridget Jones's Diary?"
"It's a good movie!" he cries, a little defensive.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“I didn't have you pegged for a wine guy."
He stares at me.
"What?"
His tipsy-squinting eyes narrow further. "Can't tell if you're kidding."
"No?" I say.
"I work at a winery, Daphne," he says.
"Since when?" I say, disbelieving.
"For the last seven years," he says.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“Maybe we should date," Miles says.
I choke. He watches me coughing, an impish grin forming on his impish mouth. "Yes," I finally manage. "A shared cuckolding is the most fertile ground from which love could ever spring."
"Yeah, that," he says, "and it would piss them off.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“I'd thought we were building something permanent together. Now I realize I'd just been slotting myself into his life, leaving me without my own.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“Wait!" He braces his hands against the counter, face brightening. "So he called to try and make you feel so pathetic you wouldn't come ruin his special day, and you told him we were dating?"
"I'm sorry," I say again.
"That fucking rules," he says.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“Hey!" I crawl across the couch toward him and take his face in my hands, proof that the wine has hit my bloodstream.
Miles looks up at me.
"They," I say, "suck."
"She's the love of my life," he says.
"The love of your life sucks," I tell him.
He fights a smile. There's something adorable about it, so puppyish that I find myself tempted to ruffle his already messy hair. When I do, his smile just barely plants up. The movement makes his dark eyes glimmer.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“We slam ourselves against the door to shut it, catching our breath. "I feel like we're in Jurassic Park," he says, which makes me laugh harder.
"What," I gasp.
"Like we just slammed the door against a bunch of raptors," he explains.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“You looked dead," I tell him, moving closer.
He grumbles something.
"What?" I ask.
"I said I wish," he mumbles.
I eye the bottle or coconut rum on the table and the empty mug beside it. "Rough Day?"
I'd been caught off guard by the Bridget Jones incident three weeks ago, but now it's almost a relief to see him looking how I've spent the last month and a half feeling.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“This is Labor Day weekend!" I shriek, throwing it away from me again.
"I know," Miles says. "They couldn't stop at simply ruining our lives. They had to ruin a perfectly good holiday too. Probably won't even decorate this year."
"I mean, this Labor Day," I say. "Like, only a month after our wedding."
Miles looks up at me, genuine concern contorting his face.
"Daphne," he says. "I think that ship sailed when he fucked my girlfriend, then took her to Italy for a week so he didn't have to help you pack.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“Hey." Miles moves closer. "It's okay. It's...fuck." He pulls me roughly into his chest, his wine bottle still hanging from his hand. He kisses the top of my head like it's the most natural thing in the world.
In actuality, it's the first time he's touched me, period. I've never been super physically affectionate with even my close friends, but I have to admit that after weeks of exactly no physical contact, it feels nice to be held by a near-perfect stranger.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story

“You think I'm some kind of con artist?"
"I think you're a very charming guy," I say.
"As far as insults go," he says, pausing halfway up the stairs, "that's a new one for me.”
― Emily Henry, Funny Story