Glados Quotes

“This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone.
You don't even care, do you?”
― J.K. Simmons

“I'd ask you to think outside the box on this, but it's obvious your box is broken. And has schizophrenia.”
― Ted Kosmatka, Portal 2: Lab Rat

“The enrichment center would like to announce a new employee initiative of forced voluntary participation.

If any Aperture Science employee would like to opt out of this new voluntary testing program, please remember; science rhymes with compliance.

Do you know what doesn't rhyme with compliance?

Neurotoxin.

Due to high mortality rates, you may be reluctant to participate in the new initiative.

The enrichtment center assures you this is a strictly selfish impulse on your part, and why can't you love science like [insert co-worker's name here]?”
― Ted Kosmatka, Portal 2: Lab Rat

“Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person...I'm serious, that's what it says: "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that horrible-person thing discourage you. It's just a data point...If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.”
― GLaDOS

“The enrichment center would like to announce a new employee initiative of forced voluntary participation.

If any Aperture Science employee would like to opt out of this new voluntary testing program, please remember; science rhymes with compliance.

Do you know what doesn't rhyme with compliance?

Neurotoxin.”
― Ted Kosmatka, Portal 2: Lab Rat

“Speaking of boxes...

Do you know that thought experiment with the cat in the box with the poison? Theory requires the cat to be both alive and dead until observed.

Well, I actually performed the experiment. Dozens of times. The bad news is reality doesn't exist. The good news is we have a new cat graveyard.”
― Ted Kosmatka, Portal 2: Lab Rat