Humor Sarcasm Quotes

“Have you tried talking to her?"
"No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“We all make mistakes. Luckily for us, there are very few mistakes that cant be solved with a suitable application of either lipstick or hand grenades" —Frances Brown”
― Seanan McGuire, Discount Armageddon

“Well after that testosterone-shattering experience, I have no more dignity to worry about. Ever. Anyone have a cushion I can sit on? A really big fluffy one? Hell, let’s even make it pale pink with bows on it just for good measure.”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Born of Shadows

“I mean, I may not hold the record in cleaning house either, but if I've got old milk cartons that smell like maggots I bundle them up and put them out."
"I'm on a disability pension'" he said. "I'm socially incompetent.”
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

“Does the Pope love Jesus?”
― Dana Marie Bell, Shadow of the Wolf

“I actually wanted to drive a stake through your heart when you first came here, all silent and moody. But you're not so bad, after all.”
― Christina Channelle, Dahlia

“Lack of certification hardly proves inteligence”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

“When Yvonne had first come over, thirty minutes ago, they had started going at it so loud that I knew the whole building must'a overheard....

Now they calmed down a little, no more shouting, just tvoices. After it had got completely quiet on the other side of the wall, I got scared thinking they might'a strangled each other.”
― David Barclay Moore, The Stars Beneath Our Feet

“Volleyball was clearly a sport invented by the devil," I tell Tristan. "Satan plays volleyball. Satan loves volleyball. Satan holds volleyball championships in hell, possibly everyday.”
― Sonia Belasco, Speak of Me as I Am

“History is taught so that we don’t repeat the mistakes committed by the greats of the past.”
― PRASOON, The Imperfect

“People like you make the rest of us feel like uncivilized primates”
― Okurut Wyclef, BOB'S DIARY