Humorous Comebacks Quotes

“Screw you," I told him in a low voice.
"Are you offering?”
"From what I've heard, there isn't much to screw," I shot back.”
― Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

“I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me.”
― Tamora Pierce, Bloodhound

“I don't mind your calling me a clog, if only we were fastened together."

"But I do mind you calling me a donkey," he replied.”
― Elizabeth Gaskell, Wives and Daughters

“I see we have a problem.’ Lucas gripped her other arm and gave her a non-too-gentle shake. ‘Are you in a relationship? or...’ Those dark eyes searching hers narrowed into slits. ‘Are you married?”
― C.C. MacKenzie, A Stormy Spring

“I asked why her Jeffrey was seeing a man in a dress shop. Perhaps he thought it was time his mother wore a dress was my first thought, Lil. Gertie said that was the job he did. Then the penny dropped. I asked her if Jeffrey was homosexual. I only whispered the word, Lil, I didn't shout it out loud. She said he was gay. She wants to take a closer look at her Jeffrey. He may, or may not, be homosexual, but there's nothing gay about him. He's as miserable as sin.”
― Ann Perry, The Gin Queens

“It's sausage to me”
― Holly Jackson, Holly Jackson Collection: 3 Books Set