Humorr Quotes

“Marvin: Look, look, no, just think. They left me - an ordinary, menial robot - to stop you - a gigantic, heavy-duty battle machine - whilst they ran off to save themselves... What do you think they would leave me with?
Frogstar Robot: Well, er, something pretty damn devastating I would expect.
Marvin: Expect? Oh yes, expect. I'll tell you what they gave me to protect myself with, shall I?
Frogstar Robot: Yes all right.
Marvin: Nothing.
Frogstar Robot: What?
Marvin: Nothing at all. Not an electronic sausage.
Frogstar Robot: Well, doesn't that just take the biscuit!”
― Douglas Adams

“Love Is like a shit,I do it regularly;)”
― Muhammad Tehseen

“she called him over and gave him a deep warm kiss on the mouth that was so much like the kiss he'd been waiting for all his life that it abruptly woke him”
― George Saunders, Pastoralia

“In your conversation, don’t dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures. Just because you enjoy recounting your exploits doesn’t mean that others derive the same pleasure from hearing about them.”
― Massimo Pigliucci, How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life

“Have you ever squinted so hard at someone’s nonsense that your eyelids started to hurt?”
― Nisan Ahmado