Humr Quotes

“Nice Lincoln legs."
"I bet you say that to all the girls." Sterling was kind of growing on me. I liked his sense of humor.
"Actually, I do," he admitted. "Can't help it. All i can say is that someone needs to assassinate those socks. They do all sorts of horrible things to the female figure which, come to think of it, i might be the purpose of them all."
"How so?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's hard for me to find any female attractive when there are two miniature dead presidents peeking out from under her skirt at me.”
― Christine Manzari, Deviation

“At the age of eight, John Quincy Adams was made the man of his house while his father, John Adams, was off doing important John Adams things for America. This would be a lot of terrifying responsibility at any time in American history, but it just so happens that, when Adams was eight years old, the *Revolutionary freaking War* was happening right outside his house. He watched the Battle of Bunker Hill from his front porch, according to his diary, worried that he might be 'butchered in cold blood, or taken and carried ... as hostages by any foraging or marauding detachment of British soldiers.' I don't have the diary I kept at age eight, but I think the only things I worried about was whether or not they'd have corndogs in school the next day and if I had the wherewithal and clarity of purpose to collect all of the Pokemon. John Q, on the other hand, guarded his house, mother, and siblings during wartime.

This isn't to imply that eight-year-old John Quincy Adams could have beaten eight-year-old you in a fight, but to imply that eight-year-old John Quincy Adams could beat you *as an adult*.”
― Daniel O'Brien, How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country