James Ussher Quotes

“Cope laughed. “I wouldn’t worry yourself, my friend. Eobasileus has been extinct for thirty-seven million years.”
At this, the preacher could no longer contain himself. “Nonsense! Utter nonsense!”
“Nonsense?” asked Cope.
“The archbishop James Ussher, using the Holy Bible itself, worked back generation by generation, mathematically, and calculated that the Earth was created on Sunday, October 23, 4004 BC at precisely eight a.m.”
“Did he, now? Eight a.m., precisely?”
“Precisely,” the preacher insisted.
Copy and Sternberg exchanged amused looks.
“Well,” Cope replied, “since the rotation of the Earth assures us that it’s always eight a.m. somewhere in the world, I suppose I should applaud him for guessing the correct time, at least.”
The cowboy couldn’t help but interject.
“Pardon me, Preacher, but if I recall correctly, didn’t the Bible say something about the Lord resting on the seventh day?”
The preacher looked confused. “What?”
“I’m certain of it.” The cowboy quickly snatched the Bible from the preacher’s hands and opened it to the first page of Genesis. “Sure. Here it is. He got started on a Monday, making light and darkness. By the time he got around to creating the Earth it was well into the third day. I make that to be Wednesday, not Sunday.”
Nonplussed and blushing, the preacher snatched his Bible back.
The cowboy shrugged. “Looks to me like your archbishop pulled a fast one, Preacher. Or maybe he just wasn’t all that good at calculating.”
― Wynne McLaughlin, The Bone Feud