Jaz Parks Quotes

“So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown. ”
― Jennifer Rardin, Another One Bites the Dust

“Cole - I just thought of a new game.
Jaz - What's that?
Cole - Splat the Specter.
Jaz - Rules?
Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia.
Vayl - Why Ferrets?
Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD?”
― Jennifer Rardin, One More Bite

“For instance, dragons are deeply revered by the Chinese. According to legend they have megapowers that include weather control and life creation. And they’re seen as kind, benevolent creatures. Funny. Every fairy tale I’d ever heard involving dragons starred daring knights trotting off to kill said dragons. Probably the real reason every time East meets West they get pissed off and throw tea in our faces.”
― Jennifer Rardin

“Then I got this image of my big toe, painted bright red, suddenly developing a face and a hot Southern temper to match, screaming, "What the hell is wrong with mah bad self?”
― Jennifer Rardin, One More Bite

“Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he’ll totally swallow. Aha!“To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven’t tried my particular talent since Granny May signed me up for belly-dancing classes when I was fifteen.”And, by the way, why the hell did I consent to that? Or decide I loved it? Never mind, he’s buying it. In fact, he seems to be hot on the idea. Are his eyes glowing? And is Cole’s tongue hanging out? This is why I didn’t want to dance in the first place! “Anyway,” I rushed on. “I’m going to find a private place where nobody can see to laugh at me while you beat this tent”—or, more likely, these two idiots—“into submission.”
― Jennifer Rardin

“I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz”
― Jennifer Rardin

“Hot.” The last word, barely a whisper, lost itself in my hair as he pressed his lips to that spot just below my ear that can, apparently, flip the off switch in my brain. Before I realized it my hands were inside that jacket, stroking the hard planes of his chest and stomach. And then, as if moving without any prompting from me they reached down, undid his belt, pulled it loose, and…“Ahhh, that feels great,” I moaned.“I am completely grossed out over here!” Cassandra informed us.Vayl, who’d been peering down at me with an expression of utter disbelief, stared at Cassandra over the top of my head. “It is not what you think,” he assured her.“As if I’d do something that disgusting,” I said, pulling away from him, but keeping the belt, because the buckle relieved the itching so much better than fingernails. I continued using it to scratch the inflamed skin across my stomach as I sat down by Cassandra.
“You are pathetic,” she told me.
“I’d get all offended, but I’m pretty sure you’re right.”
― Jennifer Rardin, One More Bite