Jessica Simpson Quotes

“How can I be my best if I never fail,
and how can I ever find peace if I never yell.”
― Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson - A Public Affair

“But remember 2003, though, when girls wore those miniskirts that were like six floaty napkins stapled to a scrunchie, with perhaps an Edwardian waistcoat sewn of cobwebs as a top? Where at any moment a baby’s sneeze across campus might expose Kaylee’s entire bunghole and even the slouchy Western belt she wore over her three layers of different-colored camisoles couldn’t save her? In case you’ve repressed the memory, 2003 was the kind of year where Jessica Simpson might wear rubber flip-flops to the Golden Globes, and Nicole Richie was nearly elected president on a platform of “straight blonde hair on top, long curly dark brown extensions underneath, one feather.” The 2003 vibe—culturally, socially, politically, spiritually—was very “energy drink commercial directed by Mark McGrath, and not Mark McGrath in his prime, either.” Millions of Americans were forced to mourn Mr. Rogers while wearing a hot-pink corduroy train conductor’s hat. Never again! Bad Boys II is a 2003 movie.”
― Lindy West, Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema

“If a tortured artist hurls a nasty email at 10 p.m. and then a love song at 11:20, are you up or down?”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“Pregnant.
I ran upstairs screaming. We'd found each other. Eric thought something was wrong because I was crying. I couldn't talk, just handed him the pregnancy test. What I'd known for that minute, he now knew, and I watched the excitement and relief wash over him.
We called everybody. My sweet mother almost tried to turn around on the highway to get to me sooner. Everybody wanted to come over, and we welcomed them. I'm sorry I didn't call you, but I would have if I'd had your number.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“It was like I was in an SNL sketch about the over-singing pop-star mom.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“I beat myself up enough with this fight club in my head that I know what can happen if I invite new members.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“The car I drove at a hundred miles per hour was out of control with the steering wheel locked, and I could only turn to the passengers and say, "Well, this is bad.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“The therapist came and hesitated in the doorway like the exorcist coming to cast out the demons.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“For the next two years, singing was the only time I didn't stutter. I sang for everything I wanted, like some Disney princess making a wish.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“Now, anybody who's seen me sing or even tell a joke knows I have the facial expressions of Jim Carrey.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book

“...The people I want to focus on are Lesa, who was kind to me and went on to become a successful therapist, and you. If you are being bullied, whether it's because you're gay or someone decides they don't like something about you, let me be the Lesa who says, "I see you." You are perfectly made.”
― Jessica Simpson, Open Book