John Mulaney Quotes

“And then I go over to the Delta Help Desk, which is an oxymoron, and I go, "Can I please go home on an airplane?" and they go "No! In fact, we"re gonna frame you for murder, and you're gonna go to jail for thirty years!"
And I go, "Why are you doing this to me?!"
And they go, "Because we're Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare!”
― John Mulaney