Knitting Humor Quotes

“You don't knit because you are patient. You are patient because you knit.”
― Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Things I Learned From Knitting

“Knitting is still trying to teach me

That no matter how well you knit, looking at your work too closely isn't helpful. It's like kissing with your eyes open: nobody looks good that close up.”
― Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Things I Learned From Knitting

“You've heard about the knitter's handshake? Two hands go in for the grab-and-shake, but at the last minute, they veer to the closest sleeve or band and grab it instead while we ask, "Did you knit this?”
― Clara Parkes, The Yarn Whisperer: My Unexpected Life in Knitting

“One cannot, I find, talk to a knitter. Conversation may seem to be going in that greased, easy way essential to all good conversation; starting hares too lavishly to follow them up; allowing pauses for rumination; bursts for sudden eagerness; digressions, returns, new departures, discoveries of rooted creeds or new ideas—sooner or later the challenge is bound to come: "Don't you agree?" or "What do you think?" "Yes?" says the knitter, startled but polite, "seventy-five, seventy-six—just a moment till I get to the end of my row—seventy-seven, seventy-eight—yes," she says, looking up brightly, "it's all right now. What were you saying?" But of course one has forgotten or no longer cares.”
― Vita Sackville-West, Country Notes

“I think the difficulty with people who can't follow printed directions for knitting or anything else is that they try to understand them. They read the whole thing through and it doesn't make sense to them, so they start with a defeatist attitude.”
― Louise Dickinson Rich, We Took to the Woods

“Quite. But Hedy has inherited her mother's skills as a seamstress.
Very good. Tell her to come and see me. If you can't sew, can you knit?
A little. Although I made my father a pair of socks once and he said he would only wear them on Sundays because they were so holey. One of the volunteers snorted with laughter.”
― Annie Lyons, The Air Raid Book Club

“Do you have a sewing machine?"
"Maybe an antique. My Mom's not the knitty type."

From Jenny Pox”
― JL Bryan

“old ladies once again
shared their needles
and the cats weren’t the only cats
licking people”
― Roy Duffield, Bacchus Against the Wall

“Hello? I just wanted to call and tell you that you're wrong about me. I'm great, and I have the socks to prove it.”
― Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, Free-Range Knitter: The Yarn Harlot Writes Again