Laurel Ulen Curtis Quotes

“Of course I wanted to embarrass my children one day. Isn’t that why people had kids?
Besides free labor, I mean.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“Chicks before dicks.
Hos before Bros.
Moms before Doms.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“We hadn’t spoken one word to each other since the death glare last night, and I couldn’t help but check both of her hands for knives and shivs, hoping that if she had one, I would be able to wrestle it away from her before meeting my untimely death.
I was far too young and fun to die at the hands of my mother, and she was way too pretty to end up in prison. It would only take a matter of minutes for her to become someone’s bitch, and I didn’t want the responsibility for that kind of thing on my shoulders.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“God, that was nice. I wanted him to use that finger to touch me other places. Dirty, dirty places.
Well, not dirty literally. I’m not dirty or anything. I’m clean. Very clean.
Illicit places. But illicit, illicit places doesn’t sound as good. Whatever. I wanted him to touch me. Like immediately.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“My palms were sweaty despite the aridity, and my heart beat at an accelerated pace. What if she had been kidnapped? Or momnapped. Fucking napped!”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“No, not in a creepy way. I am anti-incest. It says so on my bumper sticker.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“Really, Mom? Boob play isn’t your thing? You didn’t have an urge to motorboat them? I, for one, am shocked.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“For such a strong, physically intimidating guy, he was so freaking soft. So playful, so generous with affection. So everything I wanted. And everything I didn't think I could handle.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, Impossible

“If you asked me, denial was the best stage of grief. If prompted, the Wicked Queen’s mirror would definitely say it was the fairest of them all.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, Impossible

“Being near him was like being in a cloud, making my vision blur and taking away some of reality's harshness with its mist.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, Impossible

“About as much business as a cat owner has selling dog food. Or an Olympic swimmer has advertising for downhill ski equipment. Or a nun writing hard core erotica.
Abso-fucking-none.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, A is for Alpha Male

“Saying goodbye to someone you love isn’t really the hard part. It’s living every day, not being able to say anything to them at all.”
― Laurel Ulen Curtis, Hate: A Love Story