Nanny Piggins Quotes

“Yes, I know, because schools are cruel, illogical, and unfair. But the thing is, life is cruel, illogical, and unfair. That is why the education system works so well. If schools and teachers did a good job and inspired children and made them enthusiastic about every subject, they would only be sadly disappointed when they got out into the real world. Better to disappoint them when they're young. It is more important to learn to cope with disappointment than learn how to do long division." - Nanny Piggins”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“You can tell which ones are the artists,' Nanny Piggins said loudly, for she could be instructive when she chose to be. 'They are the useless-looking one wearing cardigans.' There were indeed several useless-looking, grouchy young men wearing cardigans among the crowd. And those who had heard Nanny Piggins's comment glared at her instead of glaring meaningfully into empty space like they normally did.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Nanny Piggins lost the Vegetable Peeling, Gutter Cleaning, and Long Division Explaining tests as well. She got caught telling Michael, 'Don't bother to learn that. Long division is a waste of brain space, when you can just buy a calculator.' Which is only the truth.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Experience has taught me that it is always better to be well rested than to know what you are doing - Nanny Piggins”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“Do they ever ask pirates to come and speak to you at your school's career day?'
'No,' admitted Derek. 'They usually just have accountants come and tell us how accountancy is really exciting.'
'They let people come and lie to you?' asked Nanny Piggins. 'Your headmaster is a very immoral man.”
― R. A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan

“Samantha, what have I told you?' demanded Mr. Green.

'That I should be seen, and not heard, until I turn eighteen. When I can say 'Good-bye, I'm returning my key' before moving out of home.' chanted Samantha.”
― R. A. Spratt, The Adventures of Nanny Piggins

“Samantha,' said Nanny Piggins, 'make a note. We will have to give Samson a blood transfusion after afternoon tea.”
― R.A. Spratt, The Nanny Piggins Guide to Conquering Christmas

“Its almost as if he's been hit on the dead with a cricket bat,' observed Samantha.
'It's worse then that,' said Nanny Piggins. 'When you hit someone on the head with a cricket bat, the sharp pain and the flowing blood let them know something is wrong. But then a man is dazzled by a beautiful woman, he doesn't realise he has gone temporarily insane. The opposite happens. He suddenly thinks he is the funniest, cleverest man ever to walk on earth. Really, when single men start dating they should all be locked up in lunatic asylums.”
― R.A. Spratt, Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan