Nicole Dsettemi Quotes

“I could never understand why people cower from the word storm. Sounds like a good time, to me!”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“Should I ever get married, I actually want a really small wedding. A private ceremony that's shrouded in secrecy. I want something intimate. Something between me and my lover. Not a huge party that is really, this grandiose gesture over something that two people should be celebrating between them, alone, and not the world.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“Addiction is like swimming in an ocean for a very long time...drowning really, ready to give in. You're so tired, but you keep swimming, and then you start REALLY drowning. It's like trying to gasp for a breath, one tiny inhalation to keep going, and you get the one breath, but you are near death, suffocation, and each time you still manage to get one small breath in to keep going. Until, finally either you break free, you swim away from that magnificent grip, that monster lurking that keeps pushing your head under, or you have drowned. You died. It's that simple.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“I always felt in a sort of, liquified state. If that makes sense? I think it's interesting because I grew up near such a renowned, gorgeous and enigmatic land mark. Is it possible that nature interferes with and/or conditions us? I think so. At the end of the day, we are organic, we are offspring from the earth, sophisticated bacteria, if you will. So, why wouldn't moods and traits, characteristics, emotions, habits, thought-patterns--why wouldn't all of that be affected by nature? Growing up near water, I sincerely believe, affected me in SOME way.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“I woke up remember the good times and the bad. I know one can't really exist without the other, so I always remind myself that life isn't about hanging onto memories, it's about experience. It's about learning from experience and understanding how to use it. It's about being intelligent enough to turn memories into golden moments, no matter what they may be.”
― Nicole D'Settemi

“I'm definitely a contradiction. I have a girlish figure, women's sensuality, and a man's energy.
Often, this confuses people. I don't do well in making sense out of my personality for others.”
― Nicole D'Settemi

“I woke up one day and realized?--I am just tired. Not in a desperate way, not from a quitters point of view. This is different. It's the taste of disappointment. Over-whelming disappointment. In life, in situations, in experiences, in other people...but most of all? In my own God-damned self.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“I'm closing the door now, I'm saying goodbye, because I want t o live HEROIN--so it's you who must die!"

--Nicole D'Settēmi's Poem "Lethal Love Letters (dear Heroin)”
― nicole dsettemi

“In the Addictarium I learned one thing; life is about who we think we are, lessons are learned when we stop thinking negatively about ourselves. I learned that at the bottom of all addictions was the need to be loved, the bottom of all misery, the bottom of disaster. All of it led to love. Not being loved. Wanting love. Loving and not having it return. That's what every moment in history boiled down to. Acceptance...understanding--not feeling it, and therefore not feeling loved.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“The most interesting thing about writing a memoir is that people read it and automatically, think they have you pegged. You know? It would appear, an open book to your soul. But, I penned my own a decade ago. It was about a specific time. I'm not even the same person from one minute to the next, let alone a decade ago. So whatever you think you know about me, whatever crazy you've decided I am or fit, just remember...
it's probably worse!”
― Nicole D'Settemi, WAR STORIES: Bombing Narcotica

“The issue is when you mess with someone who is crazy, you might as well cancel the ride. Because there is no where left to drive someone like that.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“I used to worry about being understood. I had the perspective that every one's take on me actually mattered.
I was so wrapped up in mourning life, how ironic it can be. How awful. Now? I just want to do what makes me fucking happy, already.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“When men perform egocentric activities, we tag it and brush it off like "oh he's a guy, they have egos." as if to say women don't. Well, guess what? One should HOPE we have egos too. After All, without an ego the only thing left is the ID. Primary ANIMAL instincts. You know what we call people with only an ID? Psychopaths.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“I want to be tied down. I want fury. I want someone's pain. Figuratively, but maybe more than that. My fiance knew that. And, he delivered.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“I can't recall ever wanting a normal life. I never really wanted marriage and kids, the whole barefoot in the kitchen thing. I LOVE children, and I LOVE the idea of celebrating love. I've been in engaged multiple times. But, even when I said yes, I knew it was just to agree to and seal myself to that person with a higher commitment. I've never gotten that wedding bug, where I just want to pour a years worth of energy into throwing this epic party because I did the thing every body does. What's the big deal? I just don't comprehend it.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“I love children so much that I decided not to have them. I loved my nephews so fiercely, and the heartache I endured form that alone was torture. So, when I thought about my own kids, I knew that my neuroticism would be incredibly unhealthy for them. I Decided not to have them, because I understand the commitment, and I love them to too much already--in my brain--to let them down like that. To disappoint them with life.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“Even when I was at my most uninhibited, wild and carefree and seemingly invincible (in my head), making impulsive, reckless, decisions, even THEN I knew I could not and should not produce a child. I am too selfish to ever put a kid through that. Self-minded people do a lot of amazing thing. Artistically, speaking. But, they are rarely good parents. It's like, I already loved my child so much, I didn't want to disappoint them.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi

“Because life–to be alive, existence—was power in itself, and death (not sodomy) was the ultimate submissive act. Everything else was just revolving around life and death. That was why people became obsessed with power, control, let fear drive them. Fear of the unknown, and ultimately of death, were the things that life revolved around. It was sort of ironic, life revolving around death, and vice versa. Like, with everything else, with one came the inevitable blossoming of its opposite.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“Stockholm Syndrome. […] It was a sort of desperate blind love. And loyalty. Loyalty and love geared towards the abuser. It’s a response to fear, an admission within of defeat, I’d read. But I thought it to be more than that. It was the thrill of having something to submit to, become utterly powerless to. A sinister sort of seduction. You knew in your heart it would end badly, yet you just couldn’t stop yourself from giving [B.K1] in to that primal urge, the way prey finally accepts its fate, take me, it says, as the [B.K2] predator sinks its teeth in.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“I couldn’t bear the thought of what drugs could do. I wanted to cry, I felt the anguish, the pain, of all that was alive and suffering right then! How this world was dying, all of us, this lost generation. The Lost Children, The Lost Children, an echo drilled so penetratingly, so pervasively, in my head. I sucked in a breath, and now? I was choking.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Addictarium

“You'd be smart to start quoting my poetry before I'm dead.”
― nicole dsettemi

“The moment you think you've got me pegged as a manic Monday, I'm already headed towards suicide Tuesday. The moment you've realized this much, I'm a weekend away, riding those Sunday sorrowful ocean blues.”
― nicole dsettemi

“So who am I?
I said it before;
I am fearless.
Willing to take the plunge--
Any dare there is.
Damned right, I'm her--I am her and more!
Damned right you'd better
HEAR ME ROAR!”
― nicole dsettemi

“Now? I write because it helps me breathe. And, if I can reach one person, one sensitive, intelligent and intuitive soul who says “I totally get that,”--I am content. I've gotten in that one more breath.”
― nicole dsettemi

“Maybe I’ve never felt real because I was simply meant to be a story. A good book.”
― nicole dsettemi

“When I was born
My right lung collapsed.
Often, I ask myself--
Is this why I’ve always struggled,
Just to live
To breathe?”
― nicole dsettemi

“I don't want to be an insufferable pretentious "artist". I just want to fucking write. To create. And to to hear the stories of the people around the globe who go, "yeah, okay, I've been there, man.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi, Lacking Shades of Grey: The Thin Line Between Creativity & Genius

“Everyday is a day to create something new. If nothing else in the world is working for you, no matter who you are you have THAT working in our favor.”
― Nicole D'Settēmi