Not Essential Quotes

“Cassian said, 'You didn't think you were essential. You saved our asses, yes, but... you didn't think you were essential here.'

One-two, one-two, one-two. 'I'm not.' He opened his mouth but I charged ahead, speaking around my gasps for breath. 'You all have a... duty- you're all vital. Yes, I have my own abilities, but... You and Azriel were hurt, my sisters were... you know what happened to them. I did what I could to get us out. I'd rather it was me than any of you. I couldn't have lived with the alternative.'

His upraised hands were unfaltering as I pummelled them. 'Anything could have happened to you at the Spring Court.'

I stopped again. 'If Rhys isn't grilling me with the overprotective bullshit, then I don't see why you-'

'Don't for one moment think that Rhys wasn't beside himself with worry. Oh, he seems collected enough, Feyre, but I know him. And every moment you were gone, he was in a panic. Yes, he knew- we knew- you could handle yourself. But it doesn't stop us from worrying.'

I shook out my sore hands, then rubbed my already-aching arms. 'You were mad at him, too.'

'If I hadn't been healing, I would have kicked his ass from one end of Velaris to the other.'

I didn't reply.

'We were all terrified for you.'

'I managed just fine.'

'Of course you did. We knew you would. But...' Cassian crossed his arms. 'Rhys pulled the same shit fifty years ago. When he went to that damned party Amarantha threw.'

Oh. Oh.

'I'll never forget it, you know,' he said, blowing out a breath. 'The moment when he spoke to us all, mind to mind. When I realised what was happening, and that... he'd saved us. Trapped us here and tied our hands, but...' He scratched at his temple. 'It went quiet- in my head. In a way it hadn't been before. Not since...' Cassian squinted at the cloudless sky. 'Even with utter hell unleashing here, across our territory. I just went... quiet.' He tapped the side of his head with a finger, and frowned. 'After Hybern, the healer kept me asleep while she worked on my wings. So when I woke up two weeks later... that's when I heard. And when Mor told me what happened to you... It went quiet again.'

I swallowed against the constriction of my throat. 'You found me when I needed you most, Cassian.'

'Pleased to be of service.' He gave me a grim smile. 'You can rely on us, you know. Both of us. He's inclined to do everything himself- to give everything of himself. He can't stand to let anyone else offer up anything.' That smile faded. 'Neither can you.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin