Nursing Humor Quotes

“I planned to reintroduce him to my friends lorazepam and oxycodone in a big, big way.”
― Cassie Alexander, Nightshifted

“Nurses are natural kleptos. You don’t want to be in a room without enough supplies, so every time you walk past the med-cart you pocket another saline flush. By the end of the shift you can look like a chipmunk if you’re not careful.”
― Cassie Alexander, Nightshifted

“My voice mail message says I work nights and sleep days. Everyone who knows me, knows this. And still, people who aren’t employed at the Nursing Office feel compelled to call me before three P.M. Certain people feel compelled to call me repeatedly, until I pick up—namely, dicks.”
― Cassie Alexander, Nightshifted

“I sank into the chair and checked to see if the charge nurse could see me—not if I didn’t lean out too far. The night was looking up! Two patients who ought to sleep all night long, and an Internet connection. How lucky was I? Pretty damn lucky, at least until someone needed a diaper change.”
― Cassie Alexander, Nightshifted