Power Over Quotes

“The God is wild, but his is the wildness of connection, not of domination and violence. Wildness is not the same as violence. Gentleness and tenderness do no translate into wimpiness. When men -- or women, for that matter -- begin to unleash what is untamed in us, we need to remember that the first images and impulses we encounter will often be the stereotyped paths of power we have learned in a culture of domination. To become truly wild, we must not be sidetracked by the dramas of power-over, the seduction of addictions, or the thrill of control. We must go deeper.”
― Starhawk, The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Great Goddess

“Generally, in a verbally abusive relationship the abuser denies the abuse. Verbal abuse most often takes place behind closed doors. Physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse.”
― Patricia Evans, Verbally Abusive Relationship

“...verbal abuse is an issue of control, a means of holding power over another. This abuse may be overt or covert, constant, controlling, and what Bach and Deutsch (1980) call “crazymaking.”
― Patricia Evans, Verbally Abusive Relationship

“If we are to recognize and free ourselves from the influence of the Power Over model, we must hear ourselves — what words we speak and in what manner we speak them. Likewise, we must hear the words spoken to us and the manner in which they are spoken. This awareness can bring us to the realization of how we do or do not dignify, respect, protect, and esteem ourselves and ultimately all life.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

“Ownership that gave curious rights, dominances—fathers over children, men and women over lands, houses, factories in cities, fields.”
― Sherwood Anderson

“Possessions mean power, the right to say, 'Do this' or 'Do that.' If you struggle long and hard for a thing it becomes infinitely sweet to you.”
― Sherwood Anderson, Sherwood Anderson: Short Stories

“Such men as we are cannot fool with delicate stuff.

Some men are meant to command and other must obey.

There is a kind of death.

Sometimes you much die before you can possess and command.”
― Sherwood Anderson, Sherwood Anderson: Short Stories

“There are two kinds of power. One kills the spirit. The other nourishes the spirit. The first is Power Over. The other is Personal Power.

Power Over shows up as control and dominance.

Personal Power shows up as mutuality and co-creation. Mutuality is a way of being with another person which promotes the growth and well-being of one’s self and the other person by means of clear communication and empathetic understanding. Co-creation is a consciously shared participation in life which helps one reach one’s goals.”
― Patricia Evans, Verbally Abusive Relationship

“Our science shows us that out of chaos new order arises. Where will the new order come from? It cannot be legislated, nor can it be established through more wars and more Power Over. I believe this new order can arise only out of individual consciousness.
For this reason, the recognition of verbal abuse as a means of controlling, dominating, and having Power Over another person is of real concern to us all.
Since the microcosm of personal relationship influences the macrocosm of civilization just as the civilization — its customs and culture — influences personal relationship, it is in our relationships that we might effect this change.
If so, an opportunity is present today in our everyday lives. It is the opportunity we have to value ourselves and to awaken to the way we express and protect that value in our relationships.”
― Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond