Pregnancy Scare Quotes

“I’m on my period,” I tell him. “We can’t have bathroom sex.”

“I know. We heard you girls.”

“You heard …?” My voice trails off when I realize what he means. Narrowing my eyes, I demand. “Were you in the men’s bathroom with the Kings?”

The rooms share a wall. I didn’t hear them, but I wasn’t really listening either. Now I know it’s because after they were beating the shit out of some guy, they were spying on us.

He doesn’t answer. But he doesn’t have to. I already know that answer. “You had no right …”

“You should have told me you thought you were pregnant,” he snaps.

“Why? To push you away?”

He lets out a long sigh and steps into me. Cupping my cheeks, he frowns. “You think I’d leave you?”

“The thought crossed my mind,” I admit softly. I’ve taken five pregnancy tests, and they all said negative, but none of them helped ease my fear. What my mom would say. How I would tell him. It has consumed my every thought. I think to the point that I was convincing my body I was growing a baby. The stress alone probably kept me from starting.

“Haven, I’m never going to leave you.” He pulls me into him. “I just wish you would have told me. My job is to take care of you. And if we get pregnant, then I’ll take care of both of you.”

“If we get pregnant?” I arch a brow.

“Of course. You’re not alone in this relationship, Haven.”

I went that very next day to get on the shot. I told my mother about my pregnancy scare and that I had missed some pills, so I chose the shot instead. I wonder how long I’ll be able to keep getting them. “I didn’t read the contract,” I blurt out. I need him to understand that I don’t know all that is required of me.

He stays silent, but he’s no longer snoring, so I know I woke him up.

“I do love you,” I whisper. “And I’d love to have a family with you, but I won’t allow you to harm any child of mine.”

He shifts, and I close my eyes.

“Haven. Haven, look at me,” he orders, placing his hand on my face to tilt it toward him.

I open my eyes, and they sting from unshed tears. “I may be my father’s son, but I’m nothing like him. I don’t want my parents’ marriage. And I would never, ever hurt you or our children.” He presses his lips gently to my forehead, and the first tear rolls down the side of my face.”
― Shantel Tessier, Code of Silence