Rent A Cop Quotes

“Deputy Ennis Dickhead tipped back his stupid hat and smirked at me. “Hello, Bailey.”
“What do you want?”
“I came to talk to your friend here. Just wondering if he’d seen his dad?”
Nick showed no reaction, but I was pissed to have an asshole ruining my good mood. “If his dad was smart, he’d have run the fuck away once out of jail.”
Dickhead tried intimidating Nick with a dark glare. When that didn’t work, he focused on me. “Bailey, I want to talk to you alone.”
“No way. Nick and I are going home to have lots of sex. Now go away.”
“Why are you slumming it with this loser?” Dickhead asked, poking his thumb at Nick. “You’ve got options and here you are settling.”
“Fuck the hell off, asshole!” I yelled, gaining the attention of a lot of people who immediately looked away when I glared at them. Focusing my rage back on Dickhead, I growled, “You need to learn your place, loser. The only time I was slumming it was when I dated a rent-a-cop.”
“Listen here, bitch...”
I never saw Nick move. One moment, he was a few feet away, looking passive then his fist made contact with Dickhead’s face. The cop toppled back against his car as Nick stood in front of me. Since he looked hotter than sin, I wanted to feel him up. I was thinking naughty thoughts when Darling forced his cuffs on Nick’s wrists and shoved him against the car.
“I guess I’m the one who gets restrained this time,” Nick said, trying to keep the moment light.
Dickhead was going to ruin Nick’s chances at teaching and I refused to allow anyone to steal my man’s dream.
Love made people do weird shit and I was no exception.
The Taser from Dickhead’s belt felt good in my hand as I aimed it at his ass. The idiot cop didn’t even realize I’d stolen his weapon until the volts surged through his system. My ex-nobody fell to the ground and twitched.
A cuffed Nick stepped back and looked between Dickhead and the Taser.
“He wet himself,” I said to Nick.
“I see that. Now what? You just assaulted a cop.”
“So did you.”
“True. We’re both fucked.”
“No way,” I muttered. “He attacked me and I was defending myself.”
“You shot him in the ass with that thing. I don’t know how you make self-defense stick, babe.”
“What a pessimist,” I said, digging the keys out of Dickhead’s pocket. “Let’s throw on some Jerry Reed and race home like the cops are on our asses.”
“They might be soon enough,” Nick said, rubbing his wrists before cupping my face. “My hero.”
― Bijou Hunter, Damaged and the Dragon