Smart Aleck Quotes

“I reckon I am a smart aleck, but it is just a way to pass the time.”
― Robert Penn Warren, All the King's Men

“I have an iron lung, and the dog keeps me from getting too close to magnets.
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I have SARS. He's tallying the people I infect.
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I'm nearsighted. He helps me read the road signs.
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I'm a recovering alcoholic. The dog gets between me and a beer.
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I have an irregular heartbeat and he's CPR certified.
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Color-blind. He tells me when the traffic lights change.
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He translates for my Spanish-speaking clients.
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He's a chick magnet.
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I'm a lawyer. He chases ambulances for me.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

“Hungry's was a small and narrow place,and a large and wide woman was standing just inside the doors, polishing the counter with a rag. 'Good afternoon,' she said.
I said the same thing.
'I'm hungry,' she said.
'Well, you're probably in the right place.'
She gave me a frown and a menu. 'No, I mean I'm Hungry. It's my name. Hungry Hix. I own this place. Are you hungry?'
'No,' I said. 'You are.'
'Don't be a smart aleck,' Hungry said.
'But it cheers me up,' I said.”
― Lemony Snicket, When Did You See Her Last?

“I don’t recall either of you asking me, you know I’m a lady and I need to be asked and agree to it.”
― Amanda Kelly, Shifting Shadows