The Workplace Zombie Quotes

“Jellyfish Managers, much like their aquatic namesakes, have a nervous system but neither spine nor brain; with the same orifice functioning as both mouth and anus; randomly stinging whoever is in their path, and unaware that their actions might one day get them squished.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“DOLINSKY’S IMPERATIVE: Individuals must take it upon themselves to form and grow bubbles of civility within and external to their organizations. Doing so creates new and deeper relationships across stakeholders. It prevents bureaucratic claptrap and friction from descending like a toxic cloud of dissatisfaction. Friction is reduced, and the spread of the workplace zombie virus is slowed.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“Delusionary Defilade: Leaders who surround themselves with sycophants remain ‘protected’ from seeing things as they are, continue to see things as they want them to be, and delusions of adequacy often follow. This is usually evidenced by a ‘leader’ telling a group to ‘not let perfect be the enemy of good’ when no plan, perfect or good, is likely to be presented as a course of action. The idea of ‘how things should be’ regarding the problem itself or the team’s capabilities, rather than understanding how things ‘are,’ will result in an incorrect orientation that prevents even a good plan from emerging.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“To the corpse, in general, the distinction between manslaughter and murder is likely irrelevant.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“The Mist of Mismanagement is similar to Clausewitz’s fog of war. Uncertainty impedes situational awareness, but unlike the fog of war, the mist is self-inflicted. It unnecessarily disrupts communication, engagement, and unity of action leading to organizational failures.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“Organizational Fibrillation [OF]: Frenetic, irregular, or unsynchronized activity, further characterized by its unproductive nature, resulting from disorganized signals and erratic impulses, ending with the collapse of the organization’s ability to operate efficiently or effectively, absent an intervention.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“Nostril-Damus is a seer, predicting organizational outcomes through the detection of BS, much like an ancient hunter sniffing scat, and interpreting the ‘droppings’ of management.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors

“Often, the right way isn’t determined by the structure of what needs to be addressed but by the resources available to achieve a satisfactory solution.”
― David A. Dolinsky, The Workplace Zombie: One Bureaucrat’s Path to Better Understanding the Virus and Its Vectors