Vadim Quotes

“Some men want to win a gold medal, some want a family, some want to be rich, some want to be free, some want to kill other men, and some men want to do the right thing. Me, I only want you.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Vadim swallowed, felt his throat too tight to move, then, still staring at the bottle, smelling the desert and Dan, and himself, his hand reached to his side, opened the holster of the pistol. Took out the mag, took the bullet from the chamber, clicked the mag in place again, rolled the bullet between his fingers.

He looked at Dan, sideways, saw the man stare at him, all eyes, dark eyes, and the way the pale desert moon made his face a place of shadows.

He reached for Dan’s hand, opened the fingers and placed the bullet into the palm.

“This is the bullet you’ll use to kill me if I walk away again.” Because if I walk away again, I’ll be in so much pain I’m better off dead anyway.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“I love you more than I can say, than I can even think and what you give me takes my breath away, but breathing is overrated when I can kiss you.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“I’d die for you, Dan. No questions asked.”

“No, Vadim. No.” Dan’s dark eyes were unforgivingly intense. “You must not die for me, not ever. You must live for me, you understand?” His fingertips rested on Vadim’s face. “Give me your word, you will live for me, whatever happens. Even if I never see you again. I need to believe that somewhere, out there, you are alive.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“He’d do anything, absolutely everything for this man, suck him, kill, kill himself, run away, be something else, anything else, everything just blurred, darkness, a place inside that only held him and Dan. Nobody else, nothing else, no time, no place, no affiliations, no past, no future.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“You made me human. I stand by that. You made me into somebody I would have wanted to become, if I'd ever thought about what I wanted to be that wasn't about a record or power or a rank or some...delusion I was chasing. If all that was gone and stripped away, the man I am, I am because of what you did, what you made me feel all those years.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Veterans

“Pretty is different,' he murmured. 'Pretty has no scars. You are...' jaw muscles tensed again. 'Like the morning sky in Afghanistan. Not 'pretty'. Word's 'breathtaking'.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Knowing what Dan’s face had looked like in Kabul, the night they’d spent in the hotel room. What he’d said. My light, my life, my sanity, my love. Nothing of that had been wrong. Not the sex, the kisses, the teenager oaths of staying together, always, rain, shine, life, death. I’d die for you. Live for me. Hold me. Fucking hold me.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Dan didn’t want to say anything, but the words were unstoppable. “I fucking love you. Don’t leave me. You’ve got to find me.” Again, fucking tears. Vadim shook his head, then pressed his face into the crook of Dan’s shoulder, hoped to hide his weakness and felt like a man condemned to die.

“I will... find you. If it’s the last thing I’ll do, I’ll come back. Nothing will stop me.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“You….” just you, always you. My russian Cu**, my enemy, my comrade, my prisoner, my gaoler and my life. Words unthinking. “Love……you.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces: Soldiers Part II -Director's Cut

“If I don’t wear anything, I’d probably make the food go off, and the children run away screaming. What with all the scars and all. I’m not what one could call particularly pretty.” Unlike you, Vadim, and your goddamned perfection, except for a word cut in blood and flesh.

Vadim shook his head, already retreating towards the open door. “'Pretty' is different,” he murmured. “'Pretty' has no scars. You are... Jaw muscles tensed again. “Like the morning sky in Afghanistan. Not ‘pretty’. Word’s ‘breathtaking’.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“Never realized how much you might have been hurt, or worried...you know. Others. Until I found out how fucking painful it is to fear losing you.'

'I never wanted anybody else after I'd found you. After I understood what it is we have. Didn't want any other man.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Veterans

“Dan pulled him in. Anchored him. Secured him, like one mountain climber to the other, rope and irons and nothing but the abyss if the rope failed. “It will work. I haven’t got this far to give up.”

“It’ll work.” Dan’s kisses grew more intense. “It must.” Because you’re mine, and you belong to me.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“Lion has his claws already sharpened and is ready to go.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Tiger and mountain lion. Fuck you. Fuck you for getting me out. You should have shot me. But you didn't have the guts to do it. Too weak. You just didn't care enough. You waited two years, and then you fucking stopped caring and tore out my fucking heart. Come on. Promises, Dan. Keep them. Cut it out. If you're a man.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“I think it sometimes takes me a while, but I end up making good decisions at some point. Pretty much when I have exhausted all other options.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II

“Your father's impressive.''He's a scary motherfucker, but we get along well.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Gold Digger

“Right now he was nothing but a physically hurt man who had been through hell and back, clinging to his promise. “We be... together. More than just... few... hours. Wanna die... with you. Not... alone.” Fought to stay awake, needed to spend every second with Vadim while he could.

Vadim kissed that hand again, looked up. “We won’t die. We'll never die. I promise. He’d promise anything, meant it, would die defending this man, would live and die and suffer for him.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“I thought I was better than you.” He felt too much, was tearing himself open with all this, but nine years deserved all his pain. “How wrong was I.” Vadim reached behind him to touch Dan’s neck.

“I wanted you even then. And I was... curious. I tried to... get into your mind, and instead let you in. Not good, and yet best thing I’ve done in this whole war.”
“Best thing I’ve done in all my life”.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Soldiers

“Vadim inhaled, but couldn’t form words, struggled with translating soldier concepts into something civilians could understand.

Dan moved into the breach. “Violence, Duncan. I’m afraid we didn’t meet under a full moon with roses and a bottle of wine. We were set on killing each other. Just … that it didn’t work out like that.”
― Marquesate, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II

“You broke me up there in the mountains. You cracked something in my head, I don’t know. I have never been obsessed with another person before or after. You just drilled your way in and since then, I’ve been yours. You got to a place that I didn’t know existed ... and all that has changed me, taken the stuff away I thought was true about me. In some weird, weird way, started something that turned me into more than a goodlooking bastard.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II

“Dan. His. Partner. Comrade. Lover. His again.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Take me on R&R, aye? Back to where we were before, or a similar place. Sea, sky, sun, and sex 24/7. Deal?'...'Make that 12/7 - getting old.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II

“One touch from you...,” water coated his lips, gathered in thick drops on his dark lashes, “makes me feel more than a whole goddamned orgy.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Aye, and for now, would you mind if I get you out of your clothes and wrap myself around you? It's medicinal you know? For your stitches...and my knee...and, I guess, all the rest of us.”
― Marquesate

“Aye, that’s me. Rough tough squaddie with the intellectual depth of a shallow baby bath and the educational background of a hedgerow. Complicated? Yeah, right.” Dan laughed.

Vadim laughed, too. “Sorry, but that just about nails it.” He grew more serious and whispered. “But you also have the heart of a tiger and the vastness of a mountain.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I

“Did he expect to be complimented in turn?

“You are...” like a faun, a reclining marble faun, only alive, that I’ve seen on a postcard. Somewhere in a museum in Europe. Naked, spread legs, face showing the agony of lust, of wanting. Your eyes
are places of shadows, deep and true and
secret. “Beautiful. I mean...handsome.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Veterans

“And thank you for feelings changing; for that strange human ability to adjust and adapt and survive; for black becoming white, and white becoming black. That we are not carved in stone, not like marble statues, endless and immortal and unchanging, but human.”
― Aleksandr Voinov, Special Forces - Veterans