Workplace Humor Quotes

“The room had all the trappings of corporate cosplay: walls lined with meaningless jargon posters (“Fail Fast,” “Think Lean,” “Sprint or Die!”), whiteboards no one had written on, and an “Agile Champion.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“Quix even built a kanban board that talked. It had an AI voice that said things like, “Your velocity is weak, and your story points are ashamed to be associated with you.” We named it KanbanChatterbox.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“The team was flowing. Work in progress was under control. Features were used by customers. It was like watching a unicorn drive a Tesla through a burndown chart.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“Let’s talk about Minimum Viable Product, or as I like to call it: the art of building just enough to find out you’re wrong.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“No more “fake Agile.” No more box-checking.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“Currently detecting 3% actual buy-in.”
― Scott M. Graffius, Agile Protocol: The Transformation Ultimatum

“You’re the person who apologizes for apologizing. Your emails start with “Just wondering if maybe...” and end with “Sorry for bothering you!” Your drafts have drafts, and your backup plans have backup plans. Perfection and hesitation are your second and third names.”
― Tempest Jemison, How to Break Free from Imposter Syndrome: A Hilarious Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Love: A Quick, No-BS Guide to Stop Overthinking, Overcome ... Your Life With Fun Exercises and Extra Giggle