Lincoln Stoller’s Reviews > Sensations Thoughts and Emotions: Essays on Reality and Mental Health, 2013-2023 > Status Update

But will this book help me get over the grief over losing my mom?

No, I don't deal with grief, per se. I focus on the meaning of ideas and one's attachment to them. You doesn't get over grief, you digest it. Incorporate the positive and release the chaff. Have you seen the movie "A Monster Calls"? It is on your topic. - LS

No I haven't

Distractions help but not a lot ,family helps but it's not the same, nothing will ever take her place

I understand. But that's not the future. The future involves locating your mother's place in it, and how you can carry that forward and nurture it. You are your mother's legacy, and that's both a burden and an obligation. She persists in your evangelizing her spirit and values. It helps, I feel, to recognize that there is not much more to us than our memories, beliefs, and actions. Imagine a relay race in which the runner passes you the baton and you stop and stare at it in grief. There comes a time when you will also need to pass it on, and you will feel better for keeping it vital.

I have my mom's ashes in a charm I wear in a necklace around my neck.And I have one of her rings that I wear .

Something you might think about is making altars in places your mother liked. Just things constructed out of objects she would like, even nice sticks, leaves, and stones. Get a handfull of crystals at a rock shop and add them. That way your mother's presense gets larger and embraced by the world. It would be nice to feel that you can continue to do this for her, and she can continue to influence the world through known and unknown ways. The more you become the person she wanted you to be, the greater will be her sense of pride and sense of achievement. You mother may be gone from your life, but her influence isn't, nor is that influence denied to others if you continue to celebrate it.