The Humour Club discussion
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Have we got an intelligent jokes thread? Well, we do now
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Hazel
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Oct 01, 2012 04:48AM
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That's a good one Hazel.Let's get some Higgs Boson jokes weighing in here,
1) The Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic Church. Priest says "What are you doing here?"
Higgs Boson says "You can't have mass without me"
2) If we can control the Higgs field then we can really build Weapons of Mass Destruction.
3) Bumper sticker idea: Honk if your Higgs wants to meet my boson!
31 awsome nerd jokes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrnd63... my by far fave nerd joke though (and I think it's in the video)is...
Hisenburg and Shrodinger are in a car that gets pulled over. teh cop asks "Do you know how fast you were going?" Hisenburg replies "No but I could tell you exatly where we were" the cop finds this suspicious so he searches the car. He asks the men "Did you know there is a dead cat in the trunk?" Shrodinger says "Pfffttt- well, I do now!"
Renes Descartes walks into a bar. The barkeep ask him if he would care for some wine. To which Renes Descartes replies, "I think not." and promptly vanishes.
Why does Pierre-Joseph Proudhon only drink herbal tea?Because proper tea is theft...
two men walk into a bar, and sit down. A waiter comes over and asks what they'd like. The first man says "I'll have some H2O". The second man says "sounds good, I'll have some H2O too"the second man dies.
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
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-He kisses his mother with that mouth!
-Did you hear that Oedipus...
-Stop it! I'm sick of these mother**king Oedipus jokes!
I don't care what any physicist says; after 126 years in a box that cat is going to be dead
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"But squirrels are so cute. Put a cat in the box. I hate cats."
Annemarie Schrödinger
Overheard:
"Operator, can I have Avogadro's number, please."
There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Engineering humor (404)
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At least lemonade tastes better than demonade.
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I'd have to check on that. I think there are two kids with a demonade stand just down the street.
Melki wrote: "Whitney wrote: ""At least lemonade tastes better than demonade."
I agree, I really hate that sulfur aftertaste.
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A rather famous quote in the same vein:
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie
For those that also like painful and corny humor
A rather famous quote in the same vein:An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Ag..."
Archaeology is a great source of humour!
What do you get when you combine a joke with a rhetorical question?
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.
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What did the fermions say about the new boson in the neighborhood?
-Apparently, it does matter.
Well, I didn't think anything could make me laugh when I woke up at 6:10 am this morning. You've proven me wrong - these are awesome. Thanks for posting!
Philosophy:'It is better to be a pessimist than an optimist,
that way you will always be pleasantly surprised, rather than disappointed.'
How do you split the atom?Put it in a box labelled 'fragile' and send it via Royal Mail
One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas
Brenda wrote: "Well, I didn't think anything could make me laugh when I woke up at 6:10 am this morning. You've proven me wrong - these are awesome. Thanks for posting!":) You're welcome!
Actually, yes, 6 am doesn't sound like a particularly laughing time.
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Fascinating! People so rarely use Avocado's Number these days.
Fun fact:Aibohphobia — a word that means fear of palindromes — is actually a palindrome.
Saw this recently: Water's dangerous- full of djinns. One oxydjinn, and two hydrodjinns
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Ha - good one!
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Although, they look like bowls to me.
