St. Peter's Asylum discussion

It's not hard to tell that this room belongs to a little girl. Though the walls are still as white as the carpet, a multitude of things decorate the place that make Ruby's room hers: the small bed is topped by a fluffy white blanket, and a large pillow shaped and colored like a peppermint sits upon the white sheets, propped against simple, dark brown bedposts. A small bookcase covered in children's books sits against one wall next to a large, comfortable rocking chair. The walls are covered in pictures, from family photos to finger paintings the child made when she was five to posters of her favorite things (kittens and deer are especially prominent.) All in all, it's a very cheerful room to match its equally cheerful inhabitant.

Ruby is open for a roommate. Roleplay here.

"Ruby?"

Yvette knocked on the door gently, taking a step back and crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for a response.

Yvette had heard the rumors of the girl's breakdown, and the nurse had been doused in worry. It was very uncharacteristic for Ruby to do a thing such as this; something had to have triggered it.

"Ruby, honey, can I come in?"

The sound of furious crying crept through the wood that separated nurse and patient. Ruby was sprawled facedown on the bed, her pillows muffling her cries, kicking at nothing with her feet and pounding the mattress with her fists. A single word was decipherable in the resulting screams that the nurse's arrival brought: "No!"

Yvette sighed. "Please, Ruby? I don't want to see you cry."

"No! Go away!" After she shouted the words, Ruby's crying only intensified. Her mind was in complete turmoil, her emotions were chaos. The news that Felix had given her did not concern her. It didn't worry her. It didn't even frighten her, not in the least. All it had done was fill her with rage, enough to bring on the desperate screaming tantrum she was now throwing. How could Felix do that to her? How could he lie? She thought he was her friend!

Yvette sighed. "Okay," she called to the girl across the wall. "I'm going to stay right here."

Yvette slid down next to the door, arms crossed over her chest, and she rested her head against the wall behind her. Blue eyes were closed, and Yvette tried to block out the sound of crying.

She didn't want to enter uninvited, but she also couldn't just leave. So there Yvette sat, outside the girl's room, waiting for her to calm down even a little.

It took several minutes, but eventually the crying did begin to die down. Ruby sat up in the bed, crawled to the corner, and held her peppermint pillow against her chest as she began to rock back and forth. What escaped her now were some kind of breathless, nearly silent sobs. It seemed that most of her energy had been spent.

As the crying died down, Yvette again stood and knocked on the door.

"Ruby, please."

There was silence--the best confirmation Yvette was going to get from the girl at this time. Ruby didn't still, and the pillow was only hugged harder. Let the nurse come in if she wanted. She didn't care.

And so enter Yvette did. Slowly, the graceful nurse entered and shut the door behind her before making her way over to Ruby.

Yvette sat next to the girl, and gently reached a hand out and rubbed her back. "It's okay, it's okay."

Ruby didn't even react. She stared straight ahead with red-rimmed eyes, her hands curled into claws around the pillow, her lips parted just slightly, allowing her silent sobs to go free. "No," she whispered, so quietly it was almost impossible to hear. It's not okay. It will never be okay again.

So Yvette fell silent. She continued rubbing the girl's back, being a silent comfort, but she didn't say another word.

((Ruby's certainly not saying anything, you know. :P))

The movement of the girl's gentle hand across her back was so reminiscent of Felix--Felix. The thought brought out a louder, more desperate sob, and Ruby buried her head now in the pillow to muffle the fresh wave of oncoming misery. She began to cry again, softly, hunching forward as if to hide herself from prying eyes.

Yvette sighed, and removed her hand, resting it instead upon the girl's knee. "Do you want to talk about it, hon?"

Yvette had the basic idea of what had happened, of what had snapped the little girl, of course. What she lacked were the details, the initiative.

Ruby raised her head, and for a moment just stared at Yvette with eyes that gleamed with unshed tears. She said nothing, but the answer of her expression was obvious: she was desperate to talk, though she hated to try. She had to, but didn't want to. That was the problem.

Yvette pursed her lips a little, and gently brushed Ruby's tears away. "Please? It would make you feel better. I promise."

"I don't...I can't..." Ruby's voice was small, breaking slightly as she protested. There was a moment in which she was silent, but then need seemed to win out and she spoke again: "Why?" The word was desolate, pained. "Why would he do that? Why would he lie to me? Why didn't he just tell the truth?"

Yvette scrunched her lips up to one side in a little frown. "Perhaps he thought he was protecting you. Or maybe he thought you would have reacted differently."

"But--but that doesn't make sense!" Ruby turned her head to look at Yvette again, and the light in her eyes was almost frantic, telling of another imminent breakdown. "Friends don't just lie to each other!" she cried, jumping up from the bed. She began to pace the room with swift strides, eating up a surprising amount of ground considering her small stature. "They don't! They just don't!"

"Ruby, hon, you have to look at him from his side as well. He wouldn't want to scare you away."

Yvette's pale gaze followed the young Ruby around the room and a almost sad smile came into place.

"But I'm not scared!" Ruby threw herself down in the corner, drawing her knees up under her chin and beginning to shake with silent nerves. "Why would he even think that? I'm not a baby! I'm not scared of stuff that's already happened!" Her green gaze swept the room, with the frantic haste only mustered by those whose nerves were on fire. "I'm not!" she insisted, as if responding to some spoken protest. And perhaps she was--the nurse's shadow was watching her. "I'm not! I'm not!"

"Ruby," Yvette murmured, moving to join the little girl on the floor. She placed a gentle hand under Ruby's chin, bringing their eyes together.

"He wouldn't have known that."

Tears again became visible at the edges of the small girl's eyes. She jerked away from Yvette's hand, hard enough and fast enough to slam her head into the wall behind her--but in her state the pain didn't even register. "Doesn't he trust me?" Her voice shook, and it was soft with repressed emotion. "Doesn't he? I'd never get scared of him just because of stuff he did. Never."

"I'm sure he does, hon."

Yvette gently removed her hand, placing it into her own lap.

"I'm also sure that's not what it was about."

"I don't care about that!" Ruby cried, in a swift, sudden burst of emotion. Again she jumped up and commenced to pace, furiously now. "I don't care! He shouldn't have been stupid and lied to me!" It was clear that the poor girl was truly, honestly frazzled: she couldn't even make up her mind as to what she wanted to feel anymore. Part of her was angry, part of her was crushed, and part of her was desperately, desperately sad.

"Okay, okay. Calm down for a second and just sit."

Yvette grabbed Ruby's arm as she passed by, and she gave the little girl a look as she gestured to the ground beside her.

"Okay, he was stupid. Is that what you want to hear? He shouldn't have lied."

Sit down, the nurse's shadow echoed. Ruby sighed and, not looking at all happy about it, sat heavily down again next to the nurse. Again she drew her knees up, and again she placed her head upon them. "What do I do?" That was the question now, the only one that mattered. It was spoken with tired, weary sadness. "What do I do now?"

Yvette shrugged. "That's up to you. None of us can make that decision for you."

Yvette added, "But you have to let him know no matter what you decide. You can't leave him wondering for forever."

A pause. "But what if he hates me now?" Ruby turned her green gaze to the nurse. In her eyes, there was now fear. "I hit him and kicked him and yelled at him. What if he never wants to talk to me again?"

Yvette chuckled a little. "Honey, I don't think he's going to hate you. He's probably going to be relieved."

"Promise?" A hopeful look was tossed to the petite nurse, the green eyes that gave it wide with renewed energy.

"I promise."

((fade?))

((Fade.))

A scream split the air.

In the dark of the night a little girl shot bolt upright in her bed, gasping. The sheets were a mess, pillows had been flung all about the room in her terror, and her bottom lip stung where she had bitten through it. Ruby, shaking, tried in vain to find the lamp on her bedside table but found herself knocking it to the floor instead of turning it on, and after a moment decided that she didn't want to reach down to pick it up again for fear of what might be waiting for her in the dark. So many shadows. There had been so many shadows in that room of her dream, where she had undergone--what? She didn't know, couldn't find the words to describe what had been happening to her, how much pain she had been in. Even now the tears were pouring, though she knew this had to be reality because she could feel her limbs again, and move them without the muscles screeching in protest. It didn't matter. Right now, the white waves of agony were just as real as the deer in her hands, clutched in a death grip.

Everything had been peaceful, had been fine. Felix himself was not in the best shape, but he had been okay. The young killer had been plagued by thoughts, desires, and old memories for the past few days, and yet he had kept going.

His room lay on the floor above Ruby's, and on his way back he would often stop by to check up on his princess. Most nights were fine.

When the scream struck the air, Felix's heart dropped. Oh shit.

"Ruby? Ruby, it's okay." Felix turned to the door, trying to stay calm as he struggled with her door. With a growl of exasperation Felix took his knife and pried the door open, his hands shaking as he did so. "Ruby, it's okay."

The young killer stepped through the door, and as his baby blue gaze fell on his Ruby, terrified in the bed, Felix sighed and sadly dropped his knife, making his way over towards her.

Felix crawled beside her, gently pulling the shaking girl into his arms and pressing his lips to her head. "Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm here, it's okay, you're okay." Any of his problems left his mind as he comforted his Ruby, his broken princess, his diamond in the rough.

"It hurts," Ruby moaned. She curled into him, as if to make her trembling form as small as possible in order to hide from an enemy that only she could see. A sudden scream: "Stop! Stop it, please, please it hurts, it hurts, stop it! Please!" Again the girl shrieked, in equal parts fear and pain, jerking away from Felix now as if his hands burned where they touched her. In her mind, at least, she was back in her nightmare. "I'll be good!" she cried, scrambling backwards, frantic and desperate. Her eyes when they landed on Felix were terrified, rolling wildly in their sockets. Whatever she saw, it was not him. "I promise! I promise! I'll be good, I'll be good! I'll never do it again! Please, please let me go, let me go, let me be good! Please let me--" She cut herself off with another screech, the howl of an animal delirious with pain. Her small form crumpled to the bed as if she had been dealt a heavy blow, and through the tears she began to whimper.

"Ruby..."

Felix sighed, sadness and exasperation, though mostly the former, coloring his tone. Feeling a little nauseous in his own right, Felix sat back on his feet, one hand outstretched towards Ruby.

"Ruby, hon, it's okay. It's just me. I don't want to hurt you."

For a moment there was silence--and then Ruby's body jerked and she gasped, clarity returning to her wild eyes. She had woken up again. "F-Felix?" Her voice shook, and she eyed his outstretched hand warily. It was hard to see in the dark; her head was still reeling and it was hard to tell what was a dream and what was reality. "I-is that you?"

The boy nodded, gently making his way to Ruby, moving slowly. "Yes, Ruby. It's me. I'm here."

He reached Ruby and gently, again, pulled the small girl into his arms. "It's okay, I'm here."

Ruby clung to him as a drowning man would to a life preserver, and tried to force her trembling down with little success. "Felix, what's going on? What's happening to me?" Her voice was small and unsure, her distress painfully obvious. "Why am I getting so many bad dreams? I hate it. They're scary and I never wake up right." They'd been progressing for weeks, the nightmares, mild at first--monsters chasing her, lost wanderings in dark forests, the like--and gradually building up to terrifying as time went by. She didn't know why they came with such force these days, and that frightened her. She was afraid to sleep, even afraid to be alone in her room by now. All that awaited her during the night were long hours of terror. She wanted nothing to do with it.

The young killer gently rubbed the girl's back, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Shh, it's okay. Don't think about it right now, just calm down."

Felix knew the answer: Raven. He knew that Ruby had been talking with him, he knew that this was the Indian's goal. Ruby was breaking, shattering, and at the same time so was Felix.

"Just take some deep breaths, Ruby."

Ruby did as instructed, drawing several shaky breaths in and out as she tried to force the memories of the nightmare to leave her. "Felix," she whispered, "I'm scared. I don't want this to happen every night. It hurt so much..." The last part trailed off into a whimper, and Ruby buried her face in Felix's shirt to hide fresh tears. "I don't know why the shadows were hurting me. I begged them to stop but they wouldn't. They just laughed and they wouldn't. They had knives and guns and torches--" she cut herself off with a jerking shudder, unwilling to go on.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. You'll be okay. Don't think about it." Felix kept rubbing Ruby's back, gently quieting her and humming a comforting tune as he gently rocked Ruby back and forth. "It's okay," he repeated again and again. "It's okay."

Yes, it was okay now, but Ruby knew the terrors would be back as soon as her knight in shining armor shut the door behind him. She shivered. "Felix, do I have to go to sleep again?" She pulled back to look him in the eye, so that he could see the fear that the possibility brought to her. "I don't want to. I'm scared. They'll come back and they won't leave. Please don't make me sleep again."

He shook his head. "No, sweetie, you don't. I'll stay here with you all night."

"Do we have to?" Ruby shook her head. "I don't like it in here. It's too dark. Can we go somewhere else instead?" Though the shadows were quite a bit more active at night, the little girl wasn't focused on that--they couldn't possibly be as bad as the ones in her dreams, after all. And right now, she would take any room in the asylum over her own, with its lingering terror-filled memories.

"Of course. Do you need to come to my room with me?"

Felix gently stood, keeping one hand intertwined with Ruby's, and he turned look at the young girl.

Ruby nodded slowly. "Yes please. But...are we allowed to do that?" There was a part of her, of course, that worried about the asylum's rules, the rational part that wasn't currently consumed by fear. After all, her parents had taught her quite a bit about being a respectable young lady who followed the rules.

Felix shrugged her worry off. "My nurse won't mind; I'll explain it to her."

Gently, Felix ushered the girl from her bed. "C'mon, let's go."

She took his hand, holding it in a tight grip as if for reassurance, for security, and allowed herself to be led from the room.

((We should poof to Felix's dorm, and have this turn into a "I know what's going on and you need to stop talking to Raven" type deal. XD))