Ruth Group discussion

Did Tom and Izzy do the right thing when they took the baby as their own and didn't report it?

What a question, Don!! PHEW!! It's a good thing you get 12,000 characters in these posts. HA!

I am still unsure how to answer this question; but, I think I am leaning towards, No, that they should have not kept the baby and reported it. Now that I have read much further into the book and see that there always seems to be more reasons to do the right thing rather than the wrong thing, Tom should have reported it right away. I'm also feeling real bad for Tom as he knows he really should have reported it when it happened; but loves Izzy so much that he can't break her heart. He himself wants so much to love a baby too; but, knows that this baby is not their child.

This is such a constant struggle between us as humans with the ability of free will on our sides and being closer to what God really wants us to do with tough decisions. Most times the choices that you think are not going to hurt someone else, are usually the ones that hurt someone else the most; we just don't know how far God's world stretches and we often do what pleases us rather than what pleases God.

I'd like to leave with this story....back in 2008, I lost my husband and also fell off my bicycle resulting in 2 surgeries and losing 6 months of work at my job. While I was on disability, a new girl, Jillian, filled in for me at my job while I was on disability. I often say that 2008 was the worst year of my life; however, fast forward to 2/22/13; where Jillian is now engaged to a Christian man at my work, Jim. Note here that Jillian often complained to me about her inability to meet a man and how she would never meet the right person and fall in love. While 2008 may have been the worst year of my life, it turned out that God was working in my life, Jillian's life, and Jim's life as if those horrible things did not happen to me, Jillian would not have been hired at my work and subsequently fall in love with "everything she has ever been looking for in a man"! God always knows what he's doing!!

I wanted it to be the right thing. I think Tom did too. Poor Isabel, my heart just broke for her, and I loved the scene where Tom arranged for her piano to be fixed.

The whole situation made me think that we can never be the ones to fully heal each other's brokenness. Only God can do that. Isabel wants to have a baby so Tom can have a family and express emotion, in some way hoping to heal him from the pain of losing his mother at a young age. She also wants to heal her family from the sadness of losing their sons in the war. Tom wants so badly to protect Isabel and heal her from the emotional pain of her miscarriages.

They try to heal each other's brokenness rather than deal with their own, but they fail to see the futility in this.

Having said that...it's very easy to sit back and look objectively at this situation saying what should be done, but if I were in Isabel's shoes I'm not sure that I wouldn't also be tempted to keep the baby.

Our motivations can be so hard to sort out. I think Izzy really wanted what was best for the baby but because that was what she wanted for herself she could never separate the two. Lori comment reminded me of Romans 8:28- All things work together for good for those who love god and are called according to his purposes.

What do you think of Ralph's words to Tom on pg. 180: "Right and wrong can be like bloody snakes: so tangled up that you can't tell which is which until you've shot 'em both, and then it's too late."

I think that we live in such a fallen world that it can be hard to tell the difference between what is right and what is wrong sometimes. Tom killed people, and yet that was accepted as "right" by people because he was a soldier, and it was during the war and it was in the name of freedom. Tom is supported and his guilt is a source of sympathy. But Is it "right""to God? Most would consider Isabel's decision to keep the baby wrong, and yet she does it out of love. Is it wrong to God? Just a wrong as killing a person? It brings up the question, are all sins equal in God's eyes?

It seems to me that all sin is equal in that it represents our unwillingness to let God be God in our lives and separates us from him- the all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God idea. But it does seem that some sin causes more pain to others in this life and in that sense may be worse in God's eyes. Because the whole system is broken it is not always possible for a situation to resolve without someone getting hurt and that seems to be Tom's situation.