If You Find Me discussion

I liked this book, but have to admit, based on some serious believability issues, I am shocked by the rave reviews and 5 stars it is receiving. Particularly since this book is aimed at female young adult readers, I have serious issues with how Carey's sexual abuse is treated as a minor plot point. It isn't until she is "rape raped" (to quote Whoopi) that it becomes an issue for her, enough that she kills that man. The lack of knowledge regarding how social services works was surprising. The ease with which the girls fall into family life, again, just not believable. No one except Ryan knows who Carey is -- based on my real life experience, I just can't even fathom that. Everyone would know the story of her missing, and even if they didn't live there when she was taken, anyone who was friends with Delaney would know she had a step sister that was missing.

I liked the book, I gave it 3 stars, but again, am shocked by the rave reviews and 5 stars.

Yes, there are some elements that are unbelievable - but take a look at recent news - the three women who were held captive by a man for 14 years and no one knew where they were even though their captor was a neighbor and even helped with the initial search efforts. Unbelievable stories like this happen all the time, sadly.

Elia wrote: "Yes, there are some elements that are unbelievable - but take a look at recent news - the three women who were held captive by a man for 14 years and no one knew where they were even though their c..."

I'm not questioning the believability of a mother taking her kids and living in the woods. I'm questioning the fact that the steps taken in the story after the kids are found are profoundly wrong. The author didn't even attempt to make it seem believable. From the moment it begins, with a social worker and father coming to get the girls instead of police, to the role the social worker plays (including sleeping in the same room as the girls) to there not being a visit with a doctor and, and, and ..... there is just so much that is wrong right from the start. Carey talking like a hillbilly, even though she wasn't taken until she was 6 and the mother who while mentally ill, was cultured and educated and reminding her to not drop her g's wouldn't have modeled hillbilly diction. The inconsistencies regarding how and for what Carey was pimped out. The violin being sold for food, yet Carey has it to play and to take with her. There is so much and the more I think about the book, the more I remember being wrong or not believable, or inconsistent. The more I think about it, the more I want to go back and drop my rating from 3 stars to 1 star. I still can't figure out the 5 star love for the book and have to think that people read it, rated it the instant they finished it, and then moved on to other books without fully digesting what they read.

My opinion is that Murdoch writes literary fiction and that is the mix up because the publisher is selling her book as contemporary fiction. In an interview she said the book was like a cross between Cinderella and Oliver Twist and she took poetic license with the story.

I can see that after reading it. LOVED. THIS. BOOK. Forget 5 stars. 1000 stars. This book is unlike any other book out there. Finally the publishing hype is accurate about a book and it's about time.

There will be an epilogue in the paper back.

As an abuse survivor I found Murdoch's portrayal of an abused girl to be spot on. Chilling. Most abused girls aren't horndogs sleeping with every boy in sight because it triggers past abuse memories. Murdoch got that right with Carey wanting love and affection over sex.

What are you talking about? A minor plot point? Carey's sexual abuse tainted her every breath and thought regardless of the exact act. The rape wasn't major because it was a rape. It was because of Jenessa's involvement. It was all about Nessa.

It was a major plot point and dead accurate and I state that as a sexual abuse survivor.

Plus the book takes place in what, almost three months timeframe? You don't force a survivor to talk. You give her the control over herself and her abuse. Especially a girl in the woods not used to talking to anyone about superficial things let alone personal ones.

Thank you Ms. Murdoch for giving us an accurate voice.

I rated the book so highly because it is so vastly more beautifully written than any other YA fiction I have read recently, that I am willing to give the author a pass on some missing/erroneous plot points.

I do feel what was missing was the complete medical exam which would have likely revealed all the abuse the girls suffered. I also can't imagine this girl integrated into a new high school for the first time without involvement of the school social worker and/or psychologist and regular counseling appointments. I was also expecting one or both of the girls to act out/have a major meltdown at some point, but this didn't occur.

One major point I don't understand is where the hillbilly dialect came from....just living in the woods wouldn't affect your speech. The girl's mother was presumably a college-educated concert violinist. The girls lived with her in the woods...fairly isolated from locals. It doesn't make sense to me that Carey picked up the dialect just from encounters with her mother's clients.

The book really screamed for an epilogue given the fact that Carey confessed to first-degree murder...the first shot was self defense, but she hunted him down to take the second. I found it hard to believe that the dad in this case didn't protect Carey given that both girls had been raped.

Finished the book last night. I think the 5 star reviews come from the fact that by the end of the novel, you care. Care enought to cry over the heartbreaking abuse.

But the inconsistencies really bothered me, to the point that as I wrote the review today, they far outweighed the fact that I cared.

I did wonder about some of the inconsistencies with social services and medical exams etc. That part seemed poorly written and researched to me. It did not bother me too much though because this is fiction - it just made it less realistic.
As far as the accent goes I took it as many people in a southern rural area will have a "hillbilly" accent and though her mother was educated and a concert violinist does not mean that she was brought up with out an accent. Her vocabulary and accent would improve with higher education and experiences but would likely regress in her addiction. When she was not high she recognized this in her children and tried to change it but it was her drugged state that influenced it. She was likely struggling between her desire for her girls to be well educated and her screwed up choices through her addiction.
What did bother me though, was how everything was a contrast between a perfect situation and a horrifying situation at the end of the book. Lets face it, things do not get tied up with a perfect bow in real life as it does in a Lifetime made for TV movie. Carey was the most beautiful girl ever, she had a real father that was well off and a step mother that loved her and Nessa. Both Carey and Nessa were so well self educated that they were 2 years above level and Carey was a violin prodigy. Carey meets and falls in love with her childhood friend that totally understands abuse. Ness appears to resolve her issues in just a few months (I know kids are amazingly resilient but I doubt she would get over it so quickly) It just seemed too perfect to contrast to the the horrifyingly abusive and neglectful situation from which they were rescued.
Over all though this was a beautifully written story that grabs your heart and makes you fall in love with the characters. It is well worth the read as a work of fiction.

I agree with everything Diane just said. Yes, the book isn't as realistic as it should be. But if you're willing to suspend belief and let the writing suck you in, it's a heartwarming story. (And way better than the more popular YA novels today.)

Of course it's not perfect. Every book has issues. Most of the issues you brought up are pretty minor. The book was about growth, self-discovery, and healing. It wasn't a documentary. It would have been a pretty dry read if she had gone through all of the details of therapy, medical visits, and bureaucratic red tape. Plus, this is written for middle grade kids. It was far more important for the reader to connect with the characters than to be completely realistic as far as those minor details are concerned.

Carey didn't kill that man as part of PTSD episode. She killed him because he tried to rape her little sister who she had raised pretty much on her own. He told her he would come back. She was alone with her little sister in the woods with no one to protect them. It was an act of survival, not trauma.

When her mom told her to say her -gs, she said that even though she talks like a hillbilly it doesn't mean her daughters should. Her mom had always spoken that way. Plenty of well-educated people have thick accents. The "hillbilly" accent is actually a dialect called Appalachian English. It is pretty condescending to claim that having an accent has anything to do with educational level or intellect. Also, what does her being six have to do with it? Plenty of people pick up accents, even as adults. My aunt was raised in Ohio and didn't move to Tennessee until she was 40 and now she sounds like a native.

I also wouldn't say that the girls eased into family life. It was actually pretty rough. Did you expect it to be a battle ground? The whole complete melodramatic meltdown scene that is so common on tv? I don't see those too often in real life. I thought it was pretty realistic for Carey to clam up and keep to herself most of the time. She would have been used to isolation, it makes sense that she wouldn't go all drama queen on them. Not everyone reacts in the same way. I'm glad she didn't go with the cliched loud fights and teen angst.