Young Writers Group discussion

Here is a short story. Please feel free to comment.

Im running, laughing as I feel the hot sun beating down on my shoulders and the wild flowers brush my legs as I sweep by. I look back smiling at him and teasing that he wont ever catch me. Im falling, he's pulling me to the ground. We lay there looking at the sky watching the clouds roll by, treasuring the moment we have together. I am complete, whole because I have found my other half. I flashback, a year ago, remembering the vow we made....

I am fifteen years old in the bright yellow bathroom, in Chatfield High, holding a small item that could change my life. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl half in-half out of the world. I raised the pill to my mouth, hoping to end the grieving. A boy, around my height and in my grade, screamed stop! I dropped the pill staring at the boy, who earlier I would have called a self-centered jock, and bursted in tears. I fell to the ground bawling; he sat next to me and comforting and healing my wounds by stitching on the other half of my heart pulling me into the world.
"Promise me, if there are any issues you will consult with me and we will get through it?" The boy asked as he pulled up my soaking, blotchy face to meet his.
"I promise. It goes the same for you." I told the boy, who I barely know, as he brushed off my tears.

I snapped back into reality finding the same boy fascinated in the sky; I smiled and closed my eyes.

I woke up, finding myself in my bedroom hearing the phone ring. I picked up my galaxy and answered in a hoarse voice.

I am running, as if my life depended on it, to death. Crystal clear droplets roll down my cheeks releasing the pain. I stop running because I'm here at the hospital at room 209 where the heartbroken woman on the phone told me to go. The door creaks open as I push it afraid of what i will see. His eyes are closed, his body stiff and cold. I crawl in the uncomfortable bed and lay my head on top of his heart. It is thumping slowly, decreasing with time. I close my eyes and say, "Thank you for giving me life. I will treasure you always. You are a part of me."
He took his last breath and let me go free. I left the room like a little bird with a broken wing ready to try again. I flew higher into the sky with a complete heart.

It is called The Slivered Heart

Thanks :).

I loved this short-story. I loved how the story was written and the ending. Great Job.

Thank you

This is very well written. I enjoyed it a lot. :)

very chilling loved it very well written ★★

I love it. I love how you did everything. Very very good. I love the line: "I am complete, whole because I have found my other half" and I also love the line: "I left the room like a little bird with a broken wing ready to try again. I flew higher into the sky with a complete heart".

Thank you guys.

You're welcome! ^w^