Modern Good Reads discussion

Dianne wrote: "I recently published an article in the Huffington Post on "Oh Wow" moments and how as we age, we have a lot fewer of them because we compare so much of what we do to what we did. My moments like th..."

I'd like to check out the article, let get a link going.]

:)

I've got "Oh Wow!" all the time. It comes from being a forester (there are so many incredibly fascinating details in nature) and a YA/MG writer (I need to be a little childlike to write it right). I get the biggest "Oh Wow"s when I see what my children manage to do without my help.

Reposted here for Dianne via the Huffington Post:

'OH WOW!'

There are pluses and minuses to getting older. One of the big minuses is that we tend to compare everything to something that happened in the past and completely miss the "Oh wow!" moments. "He reminds me of..." "That reminds me of the meat loaf we had at..." "Doesn't this remind you of the time...?"

When we look out the window as we're driving someplace, instead of seeing what is presently in front of us -- such as a new building with great landscaping -- we bemoan the fact that the vacant lot that was always there is gone. When we see our children, instead of viewing them as the wonderful human beings they are now, we remember them as they were when they were children living at home.

Ahh, the good old days! But are you still living in them? Today is all you've got and the only thing you have is this moment. If you've ever been in an earthquake or experienced a tornado, you understand what I'm saying. One of the most pointless things I ever heard was said one evening when I was at the beach at sunset. Two men were walking in front of me. One turned to the other and said, "You should have been here last night. Now that was a sunset." Well, so much for being in the moment. There's no way to respond to that. The other man wasn't there the night before and he couldn't go back. This was the sunset he was looking at. And yet, how much do we miss, and particularly as we get older, because we're not in the moment?

I was driving my granddaughter to ballet class the other morning and we were on a freeway overpass. "Oh, wow, Grandma Dianne, I'm bigger than the trees and I can see the tops of the cars." Out of the mouths of babes. When was the last time you ever thought about being bigger the trees and that you could see the tops of cars?

It's not easy being in the moment. Advertising wants you to stay in the past and they have a vested interest to remind you of the past. Television ads tell you it's "just like Mom used to make" or it'll "make you feel young again," etc. They're trying to use nostalgia to see their product.

I think there's a very good reason that gerontology experts urge us to learn new things. When we learn a new language or travel to new places, we're going beyond our frames of reference. We're forced to be in the moment so we can learn the language or enjoy the new place we're seeing. Many years ago, my husband and I were at an international Rotary conference in Tokyo. We were much younger than the others from our group and we took the subways and ate in exotic places. They felt uncomfortable outside the hotel, so they ate all their meals in the hotel dining room. So much for being in the moment in a foreign country! And it probably reminded them of...

Talk to someone who's survived a harrowing experience, and they will often tell you that they felt more alive in that moment than they ever had before. Every part of their being was focused on survival. By contrast, when we keep doing the same things, we're bound to compare them to how we did the thing in the past and nothing is new.

Several years ago I went on a trek in Nepal to see the Mani Rimdu Festival. I had no frame of reference for the bitter cold and the difficult trek. Was I in the moment? Oh, yeah! I had to be to survive when I met yaks on narrow cliff paths. I remember one time, my Sherpa grabbed me to keep me from going over the edge when I stumbled. I was definitely not comparing that with anything in my repertoire of memories because there was no memory to draw on. When I returned to my normal routine, I realized that everything about that trip was new to me, from the charming Nepalese children along the path wishing me "Namaste" to learning how to conserve my energy at 14,000 feet in altitude. And that's why I loved it. "Oh Wow," I was totally in the moment!

I imagine every religion and spiritual discipline has a take on this. Here are two that come readily to mind: Zen Buddhism refers to "Beginner's Mind," and Christianity in Matthew 18:3 "...unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Food for thought!

Dianne, I'm jealous that you made it to Nepal. I dragged my family to Lhasa in 2009, planning to go down to Shigatse and maybe make it into Nepal ... but one of my kids got so mountainsick that the old Chinese slice-of-ginger-on-the-belly-button trick did not work any more and we ended up fleeing to Chengdu (from virgin nature back to polluted civilization.)

Anyway I think I had an Oh Wow moment when I went to Drag Yerpa. On the car ride back, I saw a Tibetan pilgrim traveling on foot toward Lhasa. He was pulling a cart with his meager belongings in it. He would stop to prostrate on the shoulder of the highway, in the holy direction of Potala, pretty much every 5 steps he took.

At that point we were about 12 miles away from Lhasa. My driver estimated that it would take the a month and a half for that pilgrim to reach Lhasa.

That image stays with me ever since. And I was thinking to myself, that dirt and grime of a Tibetan man, with his frost-bitten cheeks, waxy leathery skin and a pair of fiercely sharp eyes behind those thick epicanthic folds, probably has a soul William Ernest Henley would describe as "unconquerable."

If only I can apply 10% of his mental strength to my own pursuit ...

Hey Dianne & other Boomers!
I had a few years when I lost the "Oh Wow" factor as you call it, Dianne. I thought of it as losing my magic. My own personal sparkle. I looked in the mirror and the twinkle in my eye was gone.
The best thing that came out of that was writing a book about how I found it again. Writing. What a catharsis it can be!
Your article was excellent, Dianne. Spot on.
What I've found is that as we get older, we have to be more conscious of being plugged into the moment - into our personal magic. It comes so much easier when we're young stuff! ("unless you change and become like little children...") But it's worth the effort to keep it alive. BOY - is it worth the effort!
Cheers to all who stop by the Boomer Lit Chat with Dianne!
Marsha
The Mutinous Boomer

Great post, Dianne! The commenters here are unanimous in support of your philosophy! I like to think that waking up every day is my first "Oh Wow" moment and take it from there. It was fascinating to read the reflections here of trips to exotic places. Travel fills the "Oh Wow" reservoir every time!

Hi Dianne,

I've had many 'Oh Wow' moments while backpacking abroad, but nothing can compare to the first - seeing a palm tree growing in its natural habitat in the South of France. (I think they were imported many centuries ago.) Coming from Scotland, this was an exotic sight for me.

I remember my Australian cousin coming to live near me in London and she saw snow for the first time. That was her 'Wow' moment.

My only 'Wow' moment on TV was when Celtic beat Barcelona last year in the Champions League. That was a big 'wow' moment. And of course there was the biggest personal 'wow' moment when my wife kissed me for the first time.

Dianne wrote: "How sweet! We've probably all had a few "Oh Wow" moments in that topic. But you just made me think. Maybe the "Oh Wow" moments only come the first time we do something. Could that be?"

Not for me. I've sure had "Oh Wow" moments in the middle of doing something I've done over and over again. Isn't that the trick of living life to its fullest all the time that we're talking about here? Finding something special in every moment of every day? It's such a grand feeling when I can live like that.

However, I have to say that I've had very few "Oh Wow" moments on the internet. Occasionally - not often. But, sometimes I'll look away from my computer screen and out the window next to my desk and the sun will be bouncing off the leaves in a very magical way. I sit back and grin, "Oh Wow!"

Dianne wrote: "I recently published an article in the Huffington Post on "Oh Wow" moments and how as we age, we have a lot fewer of them because we compare so much of what we do to what we did. My moments like th..."

This might be a little off topic, but it is interesting that you mentioned children. I find, holding my grand-baby centers me in the moment. She studies everything intently, new falling snow, the wind blowing the trees, or the way a blanket feels. I share these "Wow" moments with her and am reminded to be grateful for all the simple wonders in my life.

I have just joined the Modern Reads Discussion Group and look forward to getting to know you.
I am 66; so I definitely qualify as a "Boomer".
I have had a fairly good life so far and hope to continue to do so for as long as possible.
However, I am not fond of references to "the good old days". For me, the best thing about the "good old days" was that I wasn't good and I wasn't old.

Life is no big thing.
It is a thousand little things.

All too often we fail to appreciate the thousand wonderful little things that are going on around us because we are so focused upon waiting for that ever elusive big thing to happen.

You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.