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One of Those Day's Poem
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Good job, Iesha!I like how you packed such a strong message in such a short little poem. I wholeheartedly believe in the theme about nonconformity... Great job conveying such an inspiring message ( kind of reminds me of the quote, "be the change you wish to see in the world") I like the flow of the poem and your style as well.
It was so good that I read it several times, but when I was reading there were some lines that popped out at me that didn't seem to belong in the poem. Like the line, "A being who is but the present". What does that mean? How does that relate to the overall theme? And also the line, "what's a person to do when a world is filled with so much change"... Aren't you saying that there isn't enough change in the world, and that's why people have to stand up and be that change the world needs? If so, I would recommend changing the wording or omitting it. Sorry if I've misinterpreted these lines, but those are just my thoughts.
Sorry just saw this one. But thank you for the advice and tips. Yes the poem is about change and individualism in a world that has trends that most others follow. I may just omit the two lines all together.
I love this poem, I don't know much about poems but I do love to read them and I agree with Ali, the theme of this poem is really powerful. I like the use of questions, making us think about that we are reading.I really liked how it began with the mention of a shadow and then ended with the character becoming the light. Have you made any edits since Ali's past comments? :)
Yes. I plan on entering it in a contest. Ill have to repost the edited one^·^ Thank you.
Here'e one of my poems. Let me know what you all think ^.^