Writer's Aid discussion

There was a time when I was brave
And in the sun I laughed and played
But now I live inside a cave and jump at shadows on the wall.

There was a time when I was kind
And judged a person by his mind
But the truth is faint and hard to find in the shadows on the wall.

There was a time when I was wise
Knew right from wrong, saw through the lies
But now I only hear the cries of the shadows on the wall.

There was a time when I was strong
The nights were short and the days were long
But now I’m stuck inside the song of the shadows on the wall.

There was a time when I was whole
But now I’m cracking, crumbling, cold
My heart is numb, my mind is tolled
My friendship bought, my honor sold
Each shadow an enemy that would see me dead
A haunting nightmare that wakes me in bed
These shadows smirk and tell me I am weak
I try not to listen but still they will speak
Of how they burned my innocence to the ground
And how now my ignorance is all to be found
They shriek in laughter while I shriek in fear
But I won’t let them destroy me

There was a time when I was good
But now I’m scared of all that could
Of all that would, of all that did
The shadows had the highest bid
A flash of light, a puff of smoke
A scream in pain and I was broke
And now I sit inside this cave
Chained by memories I can’t erase
I fly when the shadows tell me to jump
I try to fight back, I kick, scream, and punch
But all that I get are bloody hands
And red stains on the walls while the shadows stand
Then they laugh at my weakness and mockingly say
“You were great in the past but today’s a new day.”

Now I’m no longer brave, kind, or wise
Nor strong or whole, nor good in my eyes
But I’ve still got my blazing, unwavering pride:
The flame that brings these shadows to life.

Rowan, you're amazing! This one is wonderful! But we must be candid here to help others improve, so please don't take amiss of what I say.

Like I mentioned earlier, it is indeed good, but a little gloomy. Like Poe, it is a bit sad and pessimistic. This one is nice, but you could have written a paradoxical stanza towards the end. The last two lines are contrasting the rest, but isn't that to little? You could have exaggerated a little over it.

Thank you so much for your feedback! You're the first person to actually give me a meaningful critique and I appreciate it!!

However, it is actually intended to be rather pessimistic. To me, it's about people and societies who sacrifice the better parts of themselves in fear of other people, things, or ideas they feel threatening. In then end they only hold onto their pride which is part of what makes the shadows (or "the other") seem so scary. In this sense, pride is not something positive but rather something that impairs perception and judgement.
The character in the poem, which is a wake up call in a way, is vaguely aware that they are not the person they used to be or want to be, but also has no immediate plans to change. It's a classic case of being your own worst enemy but not understanding what to do about it, so instead the character continues to sit and stare at the wall hoping that something will just change on its own.

Yes, but not many enjoy unhappy articles. Generally, when I read books with such protagonists, I comment on it with these words: "He / she lands courage." I mainly believe that things don't change without you doing anything, so it goes against my principles. However, as a critic, I respect your opinion as well, and encourage you to write more. :)

Thanks!

Powerful piece, thank you. I did feel the forlorn pessimism in it, and the mourning of the loss of innocence. Very nicely portrayed.