The F-word discussion

Our January non-fiction read This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor. Who has already read this or is planning on reading it this month?

I have owned this one since LAST Christmas and still haven't read it (library books always get priority). Will definitely get to it this month and am excited!

We're all so happy to give you that little poke to get to it!

I am planning on joining at some point. I requested it from the library, so just waiting for it to show up!

Me too! (Waiting on library that is.)

My library didn't have this and after checking around at the used bookstores in my area I ended up ordering it online. I'm just waiting for it to show up.

I got my copy at www.betterworldbooks.com

Waiting on the library too, but there weren't any holds ahead of me so it is just a matter of days. I was really hesitant about this read, I think the hot button topic makes me nervous and uncomfortable. But that's why I love this group: I'm able to read and discuss things in a healthy environment that I can't talk about with the people in my day to day.

I felt exactly the same way, Anita! Initially nervous but decided to go ahead anyway because I expect we will have a good discussion about it.

I found this article about her (while I'm waiting for my copy of the book to arrive). Just reading the first paragraph is absolutely chilling!

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-de...

Wow, Alexa. I can't wait to start reading this.

I started the book today and read the first five chapters. So far I'm less wowed than I expected to be? Idk. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home myself and my people were only a few degrees off from the protestors Wicklund describes using their bodies to blockade a clinic. Having left those beliefs behind, now I don't really know what to think about abortion. I was hoping this book could help me sort it out. But her brief discussion about the morality of abortions seems both contradictory and a little trite to me? Or maybe it's just my background rearing its ugly head?

(Spoiler ahead?) She says, "Women have abortions because they want to be good mothers." I don't know if I agree with this or even understand it properly? Isn't abortion just as much about the well-being and wishes of the woman? If the situation was really about what was best for the fetus/child, wouldn't it be better, in many cases, to bring it to term and give it up for adoption?

As I said, I don't know what I think. I'm just trying to understand. I apologize if this was offensive to anyone. I don't mean to be.

I finished this a couple days ago and could not put it down. I read it in one day and it was so captivating and just amazing.

I can't wait until more of us have read it so we can talk about it more.

follow the river wrote: "...She says, "Women have abortions because they want to be good mothers." I don't know if I agree with this or even understand it properly? Isn't abortion just as much about the well-being and wishes of the woman? If the situation was really about what was best for the fetus/child, wouldn't it be better, in many cases, to bring it to term and give it up for adoption?..."

I haven't read it yet, so I don't know what her opinion might be. I can speculate that she means they want to be good mothers in general, either to their current or future children, and not be forced to be a mother at this particular moment when they don't think they can be a good mother. I don't think it has any relationship to the current pregnancy. I think it has to do with when one considers the pregnancy to be a potential human being. If one believes that life begins at conception, then that argument would seem like nonsense. If however one believes that there is no moral distinction between conception and abortion, that there is not yet a life to be considered, then it would make more sense to put off pregnancy until one knows one can be a good mother. So, you're right (I think) she's not at all talking about what is right for that particular fetus.

I just got my copy from the library and as I was skimming the first page I've got to say it already hit me that, whoa, I never thought about abortions from the perspective of the doctor.

Here goes...

My copy came into the library this weekend, so I hope to start this soon. I'm glad to hear Storm liked it!

Thanks for linking that article, Alexa. I like to include articles like that in my reviews when I write them to help give the topics a bit more context. I did read the first paragraph already (you're right - it's intense!), but will hold off reading the rest of the article until I've finished the book. (That's normally how I roll, just in case I get spoiled in anything. I know, it's sort of silly to worry about spoilers in a non-fiction work, lol.)

Oh I completely understand what you mean about spoilers - it isn't so much about spoiling the plot - it's more about wanting to experience the original work in an unsullied way. That's why I don't even like to read reviews first - so that my experience is my own experience.

I received 3 free months on Scribd with my new tablet, and am happy to report Scribd does have this book!

I am really looking forward to reading this, especially after I saw a segment on abortion doctors on Rachel Maddow in the aftermath of the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood shooting.

What a great pick to further open our eyes and mind to this world. So often I feel I am consumed in the pro-choice/pro-life argument that I do not think of these doctors. They are faceless to me. I'm happy we have picked a book that will *hopefully* reveal what it's like as an abortion doctor.

This book sounds fascinating. I'm not sure if I'll get to it this month unfortunately, but I just wanted to pop in with a link to a segment on NPR's Fresh Air from Decemer 2015. It's about abortion doctors and it's a talk with the authors of a different book on the same topic! I had to go back and check actually, because I thought it might be the same. Even though it isn't, I think it's likely to be relevant anyway.
Here's the link:
Facing Harassment, Some Abortion Providers Turn To Armed Guards, Bullet-Proof Vests

Thanks for sharing that, Katelyn!

I came across this article from Women'sHealthMag.com today and it's pretty similar to the book; a doctor that travels around the MidWest to perform abortions to areas that are suffering from lack of resources. She talks more about the what's and why's whereas we get a much more in depth look at the causes and effects from the book...

Which I finished. And I have to say that I'm very glad that we chose and read this book. I can not stress how important I think this book is. It has widened my eyes to our (American (not to say this isn't an issue elsewhere, that's just where this story focuses)) already precarious position in women's reproductive health rights. Like, this should be considered essential feminist reading. Essential.

Abortion is already a sensitive issue. Women's reproductive health is already a political topic. Why? I don't know, but it is. And politicians are clearly putting their hands in our ovaries. It has to stop.

This book really highlights the fact that although we are legally able to get abortions(conditions apply)there are miles of red tape, processes, paperwork, and qualifications that must be met in order to obtain a legal one. Not to mention the miles that must be traveled in many cases, and the days away from home and work.

I was angry and frustrated enough that the discussion for abortion is even on the table. This just makes me more paranoid and scared, yes scared, about the restrictions and control other people and the government are trying to exert over my life and my body. It's terrifying!

I started this last night and I agree with those who have said this is a powerful book. Very early on she describes her personal experience with abortion (um, spoiler? not really?), and it just broke my heart. I've known a few women to have decided to get an abortion for one reason or another, but they had better doctors than it sounds like Wicklund experienced.


follow the river wrote: "She says, "Women have abortions because they want to be good mothers.""

I read that this morning on the bus and I have to say it sort of made me pause as well. It's not necessarily that I disagree with what Wicklund is saying; but I do feel that it's a very simplistic answer, and I don't know anyone who has ever made the decision with that much simplicity. Even those who have said at the time they knew they wouldn't make good mothers, that wasn't their sole decision for having an abortion, and I feel the author, in a way, was diminishing all the many decisions that go into that choice. Which is strange, considering how much other time Wicklund spends discussing all the different decisions of other women she's encountered.

I think that one little statement just didn't really fit in with the rest of the chapter. It really jarred me out of my reading. Maybe that was her way of waking the reader up in a way, and giving us an additional thought to mull over, but I agree with follow the river that I'm not really sure I fully understand Wicklund's intention. I wish she had elaborated more in that paragraph.

Also especially powerful to me are the statistics that kick off each chapter. It's incredibly eye-opening, even to myself though I thought I was relatively informed.

I wonder if a lot of those statistics have changed already, though. The book was published in 2007, and here we are starting out 2016. Sometimes I forget how long ago even 2007 was... I would hope the numbers have changed for the better, but I don't personally know. I guess I'm not as informed as I initially thought! Another reason I'm glad to be reading this.

I also loved the statistics,and you're right, 2007 really is a long time ago; especially in scientific/medical terms. I do hope they've gotten better over time...

I just want to comment on when she said women have abortions because they want to be good mothers. I think she is offering just one of the many reasons that different women may come to their decision on abortion. Also I want to point to the story after that statement about when she is still working through the hospital fellowships (spoiler! tried the spoiler html but on a phone so beware) (view spoiler)[and a distraught mother comes in insisting that she can't have this baby because "he'll" hurt it or kill it; how he already hurts her two other children. Then the mother comes in a couple of months(?) later with the dead baby and starts screaming that it is all dr. Wicklund's fault. (hide spoiler)] So, maybe in this case the mother knew that the best way to be a good mother to that child would have been to have an abortion. We can argue the many different available routes, that were obviously not taken in that situation, but every life is different. It seems like that mother of that baby knew at that moment what the best thing was, and she wasn't able to provide that for herself or that child.

This is only my interpretation of her statement that (some)women have abortions because they want to be good mothers. I was a little confused, and still am, but in general I've come to accept that life choices make most sense to those making them. What do you think?

I do think that wanting to be a good mother, and recognizing that one may not be fit (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.), is a valid enough reason. I just felt the way Wicklund threw it in was sort of a generalization, as in "Women do this because of that." It just feels way too simple than the reality is for a lot of women.

(view spoiler)[That story of the woman with the baby was exceptionally heartbreaking. I really felt for Wicklund there - what she wanted and what she could have actually done in the situation because of legal reasons a few months prior were at odds with one another, and then to see the outcome... it's just awful. (hide spoiler)]

El wrote: "I do think that wanting to be a good mother, and recognizing that one may not be fit (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.), is a valid enough reason. I just felt the way Wicklund threw it in..."

Yes, I see what you're saying. I'm sorry this is such a sensitive subject and I'm not trying to be objectionable or argumentative at all!

I only meant to offer that the following story may have been Wicklund's explanation for the statement that some women have abortions to be good mothers. Sometimes women just know that they will only bring a baby into a cruel atmosphere (and that is heartbreaking) and they know that they can't or won't be out of that situation, so at that moment, the best way to be a good mother is to abort the baby rather than bring it into an abusive home. Like, that was her way of being a good mother, by saving the baby from abuse and ultimately death anyways. I can see that as being a solid survival and coping mentality of abuse victims. "Save the baby this pain and abort it."

Anita wrote: "Yes, I see what you're saying. I'm sorry this is such a sensitive subject and I'm not trying to be objectionable or argumentative at all!

Nope, you're all good! I was getting nervous maybe I was coming across as too rough and possibly making it seem I know better than anyone else what they feel is right for themselves. Ack, such a sticky subject. :) Anyway, no argument here, I think we're all saying the same thing, but flailing to make sure we say it right.

I fully agree with your second paragraph, and I do hope that was Wicklund's intention for that statement - as a sort of a lead into the next sequence.

I think later I'll go back and re-read that bit and see if I can glean anything more from it. Funny how the phrasing and placement of one sentence can really throw readers off sometimes. :)

Yes, and not at all. It really is a sensitive topic, but one that is important to discuss! Otherwise we'll always be tiptoeing around it and each other.. and that isn't doing women anywhere any good. I really can't say how important I think this book is. Even just our discussion right now highlights even more how important it is that we discuss abortions and women's health. Even now. Even more.

Anyways, enjoy the rest of the book. I really look forward to hearing yours and everyone else's final thoughts and being able to discuss it a little more openly. Another reason I love this group is that I feel like I can express myself without being yelled at and given opportunities to discuss things with other sensitive (meaning in this context as sensitive to the sensitivity of these topics) souls :)

I read this straight through today. SO GOOD. My review below

This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor
by Susan Wicklund, Alex Kesselheim
19421489
Susan Bazzett-griffith's review
Jan 15, 16 · edit

it was amazing
bookshelves: memoirs, psych-soc-fem
Read from January 09 to 16, 2016

“It’s taboo in our society to discuss abortion on anything less than a political level, but I know the truth. Someone close to each and every one of us has had an abortion. The experience is common, but I do not believe it is taken lightly. Women who have exercised their right to choose never forget.”
― Susan Wicklund, This Common Secret: My Journey as an Abortion Doctor

I couldn't put this book down. The bravery Dr. Wicklund has had to have throughout her life is inspiring, the hatred she is faced with is sickening, and her work ethic and desire to help women is completely humbling. I'm not even sure how to review a book this important. It reads well, without frills, but with a definite voice of compassion, and should be required reading for every women's studies program. The lack of doctors who perform abortions in our country, and the restrictions made to their access is terrifying. Five stars.

I finished it this morning. I'm so glad we read this book. I do consider myself pro-choice, and a lot of what Wicklund wrote in here rang true for me. It makes me incredibly sad that nine years after the publication of her book, people are still arguing over what pro-choice actually means, and I wonder if we'll always have to have these discussions.

I appreciated hearing Wicklund's story because, again, I can't think if I've read anything from an abortion provider's perspective before. Wicklund occasionally get repetitious in her approach to the patients she worked with, but I would hope someone struggling to decide whether or not she wanted to have an abortion might pick this book up and understand there are good providers out there who will help her make a decision and not force her to do something she may not want to do. I think that's such an important detail that often gets lost in all of the arguments for or against abortion - there are always going to be bad providers in any medical practice (abortion services or orthopedics or cardiac surgery, etc.), but they are the rarity. People like Wicklund who truly have passion and skill for their work likely make up the greater population.

What I think is truly powerful about this book is how it really does put an emphasis on the what people who want an abortion or are providing abortions have to go through. Just to walk in the door.

I was talking about this book with my mom, who is more center politically but still would probably classify herself as Republican on a lot of issues. I've never heard her mention where her beliefs are on abortion, but as the raging feminist liberal daughter I am, I often bring up topics that she isn't exactly comfortable with.

I was telling her about this book and the different forms of violence and harassment Dr. Wicklund went through and she was shocked. She didn't know that people wait outside of clinics that perform abortions and harass people who walk in and out. She didn't know about the death threats and the attempts to call out doctors as murderers. And what was most shocking to her was that Dr. Wicklund had to wear a bullet proof vest and carry a weapon for her own safety.

What I think is amazing is that, no matter what your feelings are about abortion, I think it's so important to know the level of violence involved with every aspect of going through an abortion. Just the level of risk a doctor has by providing abortions is so shocking to someone who has never looked into it before.

I just now started this - it's a really enthralling read! I didn't expect it would be so personal!

El, I felt exactly the same way when I read this. I've also never thought about the topic of abortion and considered the actual doctors that perform them. It made me rethink those passing comments in The Handmaid's Tale and how she brings up again and again that doctors that performed abortions were some of the first to be rounded up and killed, and were still hunted and being rooted out.

Storm wrote: "as the raging feminist liberal daughter I am, I often bring up topics that she isn't exactly comfortable with..."

This made me laugh, these are exactly the conversations I have with my dad; who actually has a great head on his shoulders, (but) and calls himself a Republican :) But, I think we've both grown from our discussions, so they're good arguments.

Just finished this today; this was probably one of the most enjoyable pieces of non-fiction I have ever read. Like so many of you have said already, this book is an important reminder of the long and hard struggle for women's reproductive freedom that is still raging today. Why does it seem like we are going back in time?! Planned Parenthood clinics are being shut down and defunded, abortion rights are being attacked within the government, and here we are fighting the same fight women were fighting decades ago. I feel pretty bleak when I think of all that.

It does definitely feel bleak, Candace. I try to keep in mind how much progress we have made, but politically (like everything else) a lot of that progress can be one-step-forward-two-steps-back. It's so frustrating. Just when I feel things are actually improving, someone else comes into office that changes so much of what was beneficial for so many.

But, again, I do try to focus on the positive. :) At least it seems that a lot of people are becoming much more aware of some of the issues and are speaking up. I hope one day changes will be made that will not just be overturned the next time someone comes along who disagrees.

I'm just about at the half-way point. As far as writing goes, I think this does an expert job at combining the personal with the political - it's beautifully balanced!

It is so depressing how little has improved in regards to abortion rights. If anything I think things get worse and worse every day. In 1973 it was acknowledged that women had a fundamental right to an abortion if they so chose, and every day since then someone, somewhere, has been busily chipping away at those rights. Right now it's looking like a long losing battle. Even Dr. Wicklund herself, in her insistence on counseling, sometimes bugged me. Some women simply know, for whatever reason, that they want an abortion and really don't need to have any more conversation on the topic. Totally cynical remark coming here, but sometimes I think all those counseling hours and dollars would be better spent on women getting plastic surgery.

Just thought i would throw this reminder out there: Today (Jan 22) marks the 43rd anniversary of the Roe v. Wade ruling. Seems appropriate since we are discussing this book right now.

Ok, I finally finished this. One thing that really stuck out to me was when Dr. Wicklund talked about the antis who would come in for an abortion one week and then be out protesting in front of the clinic again the next. That level of I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-it blew me away. The rationalization a person like that must go through just astounds me. I don't understand this kind of woman. Any thoughts?

I'm so far behind, but I have my copy finally. Time to speed read!

I think it reads quickly, Taylor, so you'll be caught up in no time! :)

El wrote: "I think it reads quickly, Taylor, so you'll be caught up in no time! :)"

Good! My "to-read" pile has seriously grown to epic proportions!!!

Reading this book left me convinced more than ever that women need access to all the information, and safe, legal, medical care options including abortion.

I learned things I didn't know before about the procedure and about the hurdles women in the US face in accessing clinics. What was particularly striking was the (view spoiler)[ hypocrisy of those who protested outside and then wanted to be given an abortion themselves, (hide spoiler)] the fact that they didn't recognise the incongruity in this.

A thought-provoking book which stirred some pretty deep feelings.

Ok. Starting this at last!!

Yay! Looking forward to your thoughts!

Holy moly ok so I plowed through this yesterday and WOW. I'm in Canada so, while I'm sure we still have pro-life protests, I don't feel that they are in the same extreme as the ones in the USA and I had not put a lot of thought into how drastic they actually are. I've heard of the shootings, of course, and of the recent Planned Parenthood attack, but to hear about it all from the perspective of the abortion provider really blew me away. I've had many close friends have abortions and it was not fraught with protestors and drama like this. I'm really, really glad than Susan wrote this book and that we read it!

For me, personally, it's never been an issue; Women have the right to choose, and that's it. I grew up in a non-religious household to largely pro-choice parents and it's all been very pleasant, I suppose. To read about people that get so worked up about abortion almost kind of baffles me... like the one part of the book where Susan offers to show the patient the tissue that was removed and the girl says "That's it? Why would my uncle ever feel that this tiny bit of tissue is worth more than me?" really hit me. It has the potential to grow into a human, but at that point in time it is not there yet. She also mentions that not all seeds grow into plants/not all pine cones grow into trees, and that is ok. That makes a lot of sense to me.

I also liked that she included some of her experiences (though they were limited to maybe 2 examples) surrounding women who have been convinced to carry their baby to term under the expectation they would get assistance from pro-life groups, and then being left in the lurch. I feel like one only has to watch the news to see the proof of how little human life is valued around the world, but the idea of removing an embryo is murder? Being "pro-life" to me means not just talking the talk but also walking the walk; adopting babies that have been brought to term and need a family. Fostering children born into circumstances out of the their control. Stepping in on incest and child abuse and actually valuing human life no matter what stage it is at; embryo, baby, toddler, child, teenager, adult, elder. It has always blown my mind that the pro-life battle seems to be over once the baby is born, when really that should be just the beginning.

I really like your points on how some pro-lifers are not really seeming to be about the whole life, and how it seems that their care ends at birth. I have to agree and it has been prominent lately in social media (that I've noticed, not to say no one else has seen this hypocrisy sooner!) with the "anti-choice" phrasing that has been brought up.