Victorians! discussion

Do you lend your books? Do you have any processes to ensure their safe return or does it matter if they don't come back?


I sometimes lend a book but only ones which are unimportant to me. That way if they don't come back it's not a problem. I also keep a box in my office. I fill the box with books I have read but don't need to keep. Then the box gets shipped media mail to a friend. She reads them, then passes them on. She calls it Deb's library

I run the gamut. From having lent beloved books which were never returned (hardcover copy of Possession from its first U.S. printing) to realizing I'm the one who didn't return. (Gigantic apology to my Sociology professor!) I have gone through periods where I lend everything because I just want the words out there. To lending nothing because I don't want to deal with the loss/damage/frustration. Bought books specifically to be "lending copies." Bought books for people rather than lend my own copy.

These days I have criteria. I don't lend hardcovers because most of my hardcovers are exceptional. But I lend my paperbacks; even the quality (larger) paperbacks. If it doesn't come back, I figure it just needs to be out in the world. If it comes back damaged, I try not to lend to the damager again. Or if I do I just say, "Pass it on," so I don't have to see it in its mutilated state.

I loaned a first edition, author's first book - never returned. It still haunts me

I do lend books, and sometimes they don't return. Sometimes they come back damaged, which is somehow worse, yet I take comfort in the evidence indicating they have really been read.

When we moved to the UK I gave away/left in random locations about 250 books and I have boxes (not quite sure how many boxes in total) of books stored with friends and family all over my home town. And it that light I'm fine with the books that are long term with a borrower. I also know I can be really slow in returning books too. Sometimes so slow the owner has moved on and we have no contact. Win some lose some. Almost like with umbrellas, except the umbrellas I don't care about one way or another.

I wouldn't lend a rare edition or work. Right now, however, I don't have that many books to lend anyone! And I'm getting more books as e-books or through the library because I just can't stockpile like I used to. :P

One time, when I bought some books at a street market, I also looked at Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. The seller told me how good it was, and I said, "Oh, I know! But I lent it to someone a few years back, and I can't remember who it was." So she game me the book for free. Said she was only selling it because she had two other copies, one of them hardcover. I fully approve of that attitude. lol

Deborah wrote: "Do you lend your books? ."

Only to family members. To them, often.

That's am great story, Leni!

http://littlefreelibrary.org/

Given the number of books I "should" move out of my living space, I heartily approve of the movement described above, even though many of my books would unlikely ever be selected from such a site. One of my f2f colleagues has recently installed one in front of her home. A few years ago, I saw what was described to me as the initial installation in Stillwater, MN. (I have not verified that was a valid description.)

Our community has three annual events, one an AAUW sale focused entirely on books and two area-wide rummage sales that support Visiting Nurse programs. Also, several local libraries provide venues for book donations. Yet, I find it so difficult to let a book go once it has entered my library. In fact, if you want a book back, don't loan it to me. And, if I do offer you a book, my expectations are that it will a) never return or b) return in a condition vastly difference than when I presented it. Unfortunately, I have lost volumes from sets and have had paperbacks returned for hardcover (after apparently traveling through several hands).

Having seen the extent to which books lose value as material entities and having watched others dispose of libraries, I despair for whomever may have to clean up after me and sincerely hope I can figure out ways to loose significant parts of my library out to the world.

Lily wrote: Having seen the extent to which books lose value as material entities and having watched others dispose of libraries, I despair for whomever may have to clean up after me and sincerely hope I can figure out ways to loose significant parts of my library out to the world. ."

You're welcome to have your executor ship them all over to me. I suspect that our reading tastes are close enough that I would appreciate them, and if there are, as I expect there would be, duplicates, I'm sure your copies are nicer than mine so I can use yours and dispose of mine.

Everyman wrote: "You're welcome to have your executor ship them all over to me...."

SMILE! (I do know of a library that was being created in Appalachia for whom I have purchased books from our AAUW sale. Those were children's books, which were its focus to stock its shelves at that time. It has crossed my mind as a possibility -- but would prefer to find some places not so distant. Even at US postal rates, books are heavy.)

P.S. While you might enjoy my marginalia and even have them bring a memory or two of a heated discussion, I doubt you'd want to lose your own markings in your own copies. [g]

Lily wrote: "Everyman wrote: "You're welcome to have your executor ship them all over to me...."

SMILE! (I do know of a library that was being created in Appalachia for whom I have purchased books from our AAU..."

Books can be shipped media rate which is very economical. I ship all the time to California.

I do lend my books but, after a few bad experiences (I had one book returned after several years: I had even forgotten I owned it!), I decided on a new strategy. I now write down whom I lend my books to and after a few months I start dropping a few comments. For example, if the person says she's tired, I may mention that such a busy life as hers sure cuts down on reading time. They usually end up saying "ah yes I still have your book. Half way through now!"

ONLY to people I trust to take good care of them and return them.

Like you Deborah, I would only lend books that are unimportant to me, (the problem is that it is very hard for me not to get attached to a book by any reason: content, author, the story behind its acquisition or even the cover). To be honest, I have lent books lately but while doing it, I am cringing inside. I know other people would not treat my books the way I do and I suffer for that in advance. There is only one person to whom I may trust any book I possess without fear, and that is my sister. She is the one person who, I know, thoroughly understands my feelings towards my books.

I learned a long time ago to only lend books, or anything for that matter, that I would be fine with never seeing again. That way if it's not returned, no problem.
I remembering this from years ago so will not be accurate but there was a scene in the movie Out of Africa where Robert Redford mentioned something about not speaking to someone because he, Robert, lent him some books and he never returned them. Meryl Streep said she would never put books above friendship and Robert replied that he wouldn't either but apparently the other guy would. I loved that.

Some books yes and others no because I know that finding that single book again is like finding a needle in a haystack.

I think that scene in Out of Africa hit a nerve with book lovers everywhere!

It depends. I have a few friends I lend to, because they’re fellow book lovers and I know I’ll get it back. Exceptions are my collection of Sensation and New Women fiction, as well as my prize possession, an 1897 copy of Wormwood, from Powells in Portland.

I lent one to a friend over a year ago and still haven't gotten it back. As a teen I lent a friend a beloved childhood series, and she lost them all..

That is brutal, Caroline.
I only lend books that I am not attached to, unless it is to my daughters. We live in the same city so I know where the books are.

Rosemarie wrote: "That is brutal, Caroline.
I only lend books that I am not attached to, unless it is to my daughters. We live in the same city so I know where the books are."

Yeah, that really sucked. They're not available in english in Norway, I got them in the Philippines.

Never. I like to know where my books are, and people are often careless about returning books.

Probably never again. I’ve had at least two that were never returned.

NO!!

But then again, no one in my “real life” reads so....

I will lend out books I don't mind losing. If they come back to me, great. If not, I hope someone else is enjoying it. Those books I don't want to lose I keep at home. If anyone wants to borrow the book I just tell them that it was given to me by a family member and that I don't feel comfortable loaning it out.

I will lend books to people if they want to read a book that I have. I don't have any friends that like reading or if they do they live in a different country. It's difficult to lend books because not everyone has the same taste as you do. In addition, the people who really like reading have their own routine. I would love to meet a friend in real life that would read and discuss books with me. Even my family members are not into reading as much as I am. They like books, but I'm the only family member that is constantly ordering books online and making reading lists.

I have loaned books. Just recently I loaned a bunch of books to a lady who was isolated due to injury and the coronavirus. I marked them in Goodreads as lent. You have to be prepared to lose a book if you lend it. Even if lent to a friend or relative.

I will lend my books to some particularly selected people, but not to anyone ;)

Sometimes I cannot find some books. If I lent them, I cannot remember to whom. I try not to lend them if I can.

I am currently dealing with approaching aging eyes, so getting my favourites on kindle (where I can increase the font size). i often have the books on my shelves as well, so am very pleased to give them away, or leave them at the community libraries found in many shopping centres here,

I always keep my nonfiction hardcovers and never loan them out. My paperback novels get donated to charity after I read them, unless it is a special favorite. If I kept all of my books, I think I would only have narrow walking paths throughout my house because of too many stacks of books! LOL!!!