Writingtowne discussion

If you can't find a specific category to post a rough work, you have come to the right place!

Alright, so this is the first chapter, or prologue of the book that I am currently working on. The only editing I have done is typing it, as it was originally written with a pen and paper.
Here it is.


Prologue
The air grew thick with heavy dark gray smoke. Flames raced hungrily along the padded leather seats, eating everything its path as it engulfed the interior of the aircraft.
The passenger coughed, only inhaling more smoke-filled, oxygen-depleted air. He struggled toward the front of the plane, where the pilot should have been attempting to level the plummeting plane.
But when the passenger reached the cock-pit, there was nobody there, and there was no sign of the pilot.
Out of the front windshield, the Rolcðkne Mountains loomed ominously closer
Calmly, despite the terror-inducing situation around him, the man sat down in the pilot seat and pulled the yoke back. The plane shuddered, and slowed its descent and lev-eled off.
Reaching up, he grabbed the radio, and called out in a panic-stricken voice. “This is Black Cobra Flight 11902. Mayday. Mayday. Mayday.”
His only response was empty static for a few mo-ments, then a woman’s voice came over the air. “Black Cobra Flight 11902, this is Agent Samantha Souse. What is the problem?”
The passenger’s heart fell into the pit of his stomach, and, at the same time, leapt into his throat. Why did it have to be you? he thought and responded, “Sammie, I love you.”
“Ace, what is wrong?”
Ace drew in a deep breath, and replied, “My pilot bailed, and the plane’s going down. I’ve steadied it for now, but I won’t be able to keep it in the air much longer.” He forced his voice to shake to hide the fact that he was lying.
“Ace!” he heard Samantha’s voice sob, and he knew that he was buying it. “Ace, we can figure something out. Please, please stay with me.”
“Sammie, listen to me—promise me you’ll get out. It’s not safe for you anymore, nor for Katherine and Caryn. Promise me.”
“Ace!” Sammie sobbed, “What are you saying?”
“Somebody wanted me dead, Sammie. That’s what I’m saying. And right now I’m living on borrowed time.”
“Ace! There are several people—several nations—that want both of us dead! That comes with the job!”
“I know. I didn’t sign up so I could have an easy life. Just promise me you’ll get out before they come for you and the girls too. Get out, Samantha.”
“Ace, we both know I can’t quit. I love my job too much!” Sammie said, her voice rising as her temper, which she always kept under control, flared.
Ace beat the radio against his head. “Sammie, if you won’t do it for me or yourself, do it for them. They’ll need you when I’m gone. Please, Sammie.”
There was a long moment that felt like an eternity of silence Ace began to think that Samantha had cut him off, and that he would die without telling her.
The plane shook and began to plummet again. Ace tried to bring it back, but his efforts were in vain.
Knowing that the end was near, he spoke into the ra-dio, though he wasn’t sure that she could hear him. “Good bye, Samantha. I loved you, remember that.”
The falling aircraft picked up speed, and the ground was fast approaching.
“There is nobody you can trust, Samantha.”