We Are Unique discussion

Ask your questions here and they will be posted with an answer in the newsletter....or you can PM someone on the advice team and your question will stay private.

*cough* post the people on the advice team *cough*

huh?

lol!!
am always available:)

Nevermind...

lol Maple

No one needs advice?! Like, what?!

Here, I'll need advice. Umm hi peoples. Im Maple. Me and my sister have this love hate relationship. Last night we were happily dancing and playing basketball and today we were yelling at each other all day long. What do I do?!?!?

I need advice. How do you not give up even when it seems like you should and that there is no reason to continue and your reason that you've always held on so you could keep going doesn't want to continue either and they're just there for you and your just there for them but, neither of you want to be there and neither of you want to keep going and you always feel terrible like it's your fault and like you should say something but you don't know what because anything you say might ruin everything?

What do you do when you are trying so hard to stay positive and be happy and be okay but, then people keep realizing your not and it makes you feel worse and in the inside you don't really care about yourself you just want them to be happy?

Erin, you sound like a wonderful person for trying to make other people happy no matter the cost for you. But let me tell you a secret; you don't need to hide your feelings, and most importantly, you don't need to lie to yourself about them. My teacher in 4th class was a hippie, and she made us do yoga with her each day. But she taught us two valuable things: Irish Sign Language and that all feelings are okay. She always said that all feelings are okay, therefore we shouldn't try to hide them, and that if they're becoming less temporary and more serious, we should talk to someone we trust about it. SO Erin, I don't know you and so I don't know if you're going through teenage mood swings, PMS, a stressful phase, or depression. Ask yourself if there's any reason why you're unhappy, and then embrace it. Take walks outside and try to find beauty where you haven't seen any, and soon, you will get better. But please, don't try to act strong. Very often it doesn't help.

All the best from me(, a totally unqualified person to give you the advice you need)!

Advice peeopleeee I require some advice!

Spill your guts

Guts?

Night!!!

I've got two things I need advice on:

The first one is making friends in the real world. I am in high school and I still have no actual friends- yup that actually happens to people lol XD I look it up online all the time, and I get cliché sludge like just say hello or just ask the stranger to be their partner or try to make conversation with the angry looking person sitting alone at lunch, but does anyone have any real unique adivce/stories that could be of genuine use? :D

Also, a less important but still relevant issue:
ately I've been getting into new some things, like bands, shows etc. And I feel like I would have a lot more fun liking those things if I could talk about them with other people, in real life or online. The thing is, a lot of fandoms on places like Tumblr seem to be pretty exclusive and don't really include newcomers. How do I enjoy something with other people without being seen as a "fake fan"?

Well thanks on advance to whoever tries to solve the little riddles in my life at the moment!

I've got two things I need advice on:

The first one is making friends in the real world. I am in high school and I still have no actual friends- yup that actually happens to people lol XD I look it up online all the time, and I get cliché sludge like just say hello or just ask the stranger to be their partner or try to make conversation with the angry looking person sitting alone at lunch, but does anyone have any real unique adivce/stories that could be of genuine use? :D

Also, a less important but still relevant issue:
ately I've been getting into new some things, like bands, shows etc. And I feel like I would have a lot more fun liking those things if I could talk about them with other people, in real life or online. The thing is, a lot of fandoms on places like Tumblr seem to be pretty exclusive and don't really include newcomers. How do I enjoy something with other people without being seen as a "fake fan"?

Well thanks on advance to whoever tries to solve the little riddles in my life at the moment!

I actually had the same problem around the end of middle school. I had a few friends here and there but no close friends. No one really knew me in the school and I didn't want to fall into oblivion after we graduated from middle school. So one day, in grade 8, I decided I wanted to become popular. For a whole three or four months, I clung to the popular kids and trailed them like a puppy EVERYWHERE. I thought, eventually, they had to notice me and include me in their group. They didn't. So people started making fun of me for trying to become popular and my rank in the popularity chart decreased quickly. So, yeah, middle school was a crappy experience for me.

Anyways, then, we moved to Canada. I was so ready to start a new life. But this time, I took a different approach. I was like, screw this, I'm just going to be who am I and if no one likes me for that, then their loss. Which brings up the question, who am I? I'm actually quite extroverted and friendly and I love talking and making jokes. I remember, on my first day of HS, in class, we were all introducing ourselves and when it was my turn, I told a funny story of how I moved to Canada that cracked everyone up.

During lunch, I approached this group of people I recognized from my homeroom class. I said hi to them and sat down with them at lunch. Only a few minutes in, I was already friends with them. They're now some of my closest friends.

I know you don't get a fresh start like this in your life, but you can pretend you do. So maybe, one day, when you go to school, pretend no one knows you. Try to let people know who you are. I'm sure you're an amazing person and if people know that about you, they'd want to be friends with you. And I know it's cliché, but saying hello really does work. It doesn't have to be a whole conversation. Just say hi to someone when they pass you in the hall. Maybe next time, you can take it up a notch to small talk, which could lead to friendship. If you're already way in high school, there are probably some 'cliques' established. Try to approach one that you think is the most open-minded and welcoming. If there's anyone you've already made a connection with or talked to, approach them! You can also join clubs, sit next to people in class and talk to them. Be friendly to people and try to establish a connection (though don't force it. If you're not meant to be friends, you're not meant to be friends.) Don't wait for it to happen to you. After I told my story, no one came up to me and said 'hey great story wanna be friends?' I had to go up to people and say hello to them. I had to be the one to take action. And my ultimate piece of advice is, BE YOURSELF! After all, that's what helped me in the first place...

Oh shoot I spent like 15 minutes writing this, I better get back to homework! Hope I helped :P

Aurelius wrote: "I've got two things I need advice on:

The first one is making friends in the real world. I am in high school and I still have no actual friends- yup that actually happens to people lol XD I look i..."

I usually make friends with the outcasts, new kids, and generally lost young souls who need a gentle guiding hand. I am just like u, I am HORRIBLE at friend-making. And when I do make friends they all turn out to be backstabbers and betrayal-monsters. So I'm not gonna tell u to "go out of ur way" or "just say hello!" U don't need to hear that. What u do need, however, is to know that somewhere out there there is a person/group of ppl just like u. U just have to find them.

The advice team has their work cut out for them...

*hooks pencil behind ear*
*taps clipboard*
*looks at watch*

I need a raise

XD

That was not an affirmation to the raise statement
*raises eyebrow*
U hav something to say maples staples?

Do you want to be a wage slave?

Heck no

What do you need to be a wage slave?

Konstantina wrote: "Erin, you sound like a wonderful person for trying to make other people happy no matter the cost for you. But let me tell you a secret; you don't need to hide your feelings, and most importantly, y..."

Thanks...

Thanks guys :3 I'm going to actually try your advice out! The clubs re-opened two days ago, and I'm going to be in the book club, lit club, science league and art club! There has to be someone who can at least become an aquaintance, right?

Nice, and yeah, there must be...well, good luck

Also, I could be your aqaintance too

Maybe even a friend ;)

Holy. Crap.

I feel empty. Don't think there's any advice for that but, idk?

Many of us feel the same way. The feeling never really goes away...try surrounding yourself with things you love. DO things you LOVE to do. It helps.

I may start posting some of these in the group message...idk though. I have to find a spot in my schedule.

Thank you! I'll try.

Anytime.

Ok so theres this boy that I DO NOT KNOW THE NAME OF. He's in texh theatre the same period Im in theatre. So he likes to talk to me before and after class and stuff. So yesterday he asked if I was doing anything this week. I said well I have a basketball game tonight. He asked where and when it was and stuff. I told him and that night HE SHOWED UP AT MY GAME. He waited for after the coach was done talking to us and stuff to come talk to me. I tried to take a long time but he didnt leave. Then he freaking INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO MY MOM!!!! I tried to be terse with him bc I did not want to talk to him. My parents didn't say anything about it until we got home. Then my dad asked who he was and I said, "oh some kid from my theatre class. I don't know his name." My dad said he liked me and I was just like No. nooooo. Oh no I feel so bad. My parents asked why I felt bad so I said, "because I don't like him back." They said not to feel bad so now I don't but I currently don't want him to exist. I am loathing tomorrow because I have to talk to him and I don't want to. I asked my friend how to "not lead him on" because thats what my mom told me to do but she had no advice on how to do it. She said she didn't know but to make it obvious that I had friend zoned him. I really don't want to talk to him. Any advice...?

I have a friend and she isn't the nicest to me like I've had bruises from her pushing me or hitting me. And I want to stop spending time with her. It's difficult because our moms are friends, we're in after school activities together and we have the same friends, anyone has advice for me.

In my opinion, try to annoy her, do things she hate

That's hard. I'm not the best with this cuz I'm compliant, but I have a sister who treated me like that until I fought back. I think they were meant to be friendly jabs, but they started to be rough. One day, she went to punch me in the arm and I grabbed her wrist instead of letting her do it. She hasn't done it since. Anyone have any other advice?

HAYFA wrote: "In my opinion, try to annoy her, do things she hate"

Huh. That actually sounds appealing.

HAYFA wrote: "In my opinion, try to annoy her, do things she hate"

I've tried to do stuff that annoys her but then she just got mad at me. And I've stood up to her too but I just got in trouble from someone, either a teacher, a leader from an activity or her or my mom.
Non of it has work.

Go to a teacher/authority figure(probably not your mom) and tell them what's going on. That may be a good idea. If you don't want to go by yourself, then have a good friend go with you. This worked for my sister. She had something similar happen. Has anyone seen this going on?

Shaylee*cheeky* wrote: "Go to a teacher/authority figure(probably not your mom) and tell them what's going on. That may be a good idea. If you don't want to go by yourself, then have a good friend go with you. This worked..."

The teacher have done nothing they have seen my other friend who is also mean kicks me and hits me and they do nothing because we are the so called, good kids. The teachers are no help and have never been.

I feel bad turning down everyone's advice and I'm thankful for your guy's help.

School counselor? Administrator? You can try being the good guy all the time. It's worked for me. Although, I think being calm and rational gets on their nerves. If you don't give a reaction and just stare at them in a calm, nice way, they usually stop. Fold your arms and stand in an intimidating way. If they don't stop, talk to them about it. People don't like to talk about why they do what they do(feelings and such). Show them what they're doing is wrong, bring out the real reason they do things.

Just remember that you're a better human being, the better person. Don't become the person who turns into what you're attempting to get away from.

I had a friend who thought it was hilarious to suddenly stop talking to me and pretend like I wasn't there. It wasn't until I said to her 'I feel really stupid when you do that' that she stopped. She was really surprised it upset me. Worth a try?

Physical abuse is not ok. You don't have to put up with it. Ever.

Sarah, I agree. Tell your friend the truth.

Does anybody have a simple way to get over someone? Preferably a painless way...3