A Book Club for Diversity (ABCD) discussion

Let's use this thread to discuss thoughts and feelings about our December book selection, Written in the Stars.

This thread WILL contain spoilers.

What are your thoughts so far?
Is this book challenging your preconceptions in any way?

Just finished Written In the stars.. I was sad and surprised on how Naila was treated... Being forced to leave her friends to place that her family called home in Pakistan. My heart broke for her on how she was treated by her parents. The only ones that really made me smile were her cousin, her brother, her one aunt, and the sister in-law of her husband. I didn't like how she was forced into a marriage she did not want or agree to nor did I like how her family drugged her.... Siaf was her knight in shining armor who rescued in the end..
In the end I liked the authors note... Was surprised to read that arranged marriages still happened even in America. And I am glad that there groups that will help those in need.

I have finished reading Written in the Stars. I must admit when I got to the part where Naila went to the prom I was extremely surprised that she went considering her parents attitudes. It really made me wonder if they ever had any intention of letting her go to college prior to the prom. The book really brought home the difference between Naila and the other female characters in the book in regards to their thinking and outlook on life. The attitudes towards women in Pakistan as depicted in the book that are enforced not only by the men but also by the women made me wonder how many of the women prefer how their lives are controlled or if they use this to in turn have a form of control (Naila's mother in law) and also, how many long for the freedom that Naila had in America and gained on her return. I felt horrified that her family had drugged her and then almost dumped her in Pakistan and returned to America. I did wonder at the end of the book what would have happened if Saif had not gone to Pakistan, if she would have accepted her lot, or if the jealousy of her mother in law and sister in law would have ensured the same sort of outcome she faced when Saif saved her. It is sad that all around the world, women are still suffering the same oppression and are treated as a commodity. A very thought provoking book.

I too just finished it and was heartbroken with what happened to Naila. I could tell her family was leading up to marrying her off in Pakistan, but was shocked they drugged her and forced her to marry while she was drugged and largely unaware of what she was doing. And then to be raped! God. And it's sad because her husband seemed like a generally kind person, but the social pressure on him, on her, on all their families, ended up trumping personal kindness, love, respect or reasonable response. And I think that's the real issue here, is that regardless of individual preferences, (like the husband who would probably have let her go when he realized what happened if he felt like he could without scathing consequences) the societal prejudice and pressure to behave in a certain way overrides everything else, and everyone is trained to reinforce the social order. This is how you have women who are at the helm of subjugating other women. It's not just men.

And this is true even in very western cultures. We might not have forced marriage (for the most part), but it's often women who are most critical of other women. Who do the most damage in tearing apart other women in an effort to keep them in their place. Slut shaming, body shaming, mother shaming... there are so many subtle and not subtle ways women (and men) work to reinforce our own cultural prejudices and stereotypes.

It's truly sad and sickening though that this could (and likely has) really happened. She was a US citizen, and was kidnapped, drugged and held hostage in another country against her will. How terrifying. All because of cultural norms in her family. Norms that do not serve women, or even the men, in the long run.

Karpov wrote: "I too just finished it and was heartbroken with what happened to Naila. I could tell her family was leading up to marrying her off in Pakistan, but was shocked they drugged her and forced her to ma..."
I felt the same way... with what happened to Naila