ᴘᴀɴᴛʜᴇᴏɴɪᴜᴍ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍʏ ᴀ ᴘᴏʟʏᴛʜᴇɪsᴛɪᴄ ʀᴏʟᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏ discussion

Gossip pertaining to Pantheonium Academy, its godly faculty, and its students. None of these rumors are necessarily true.

Rumor has it that professor Thanatos might have a thing going on with Aion

Zephyr totally screws his sex ed students.

Zephyr totally screws all of the students

zephyr=slut

tru

Zephyr seems to have hit on all the teachers and staff too, except for Apollo? I mean he even tried Artemis judging by the arrow in his eye the other day, but he avoids Apollo like the plague.

lmao
if he flirts with aion
aion would prolly be like
uh
what
and then hed walk away slowly

Zephyr flirts with everyone
everyone over 18 at least
so it's bound to happen. He'd try at least one or two more times before dropping it bc he's determined not pushy

Apollo is into incest, apparently. The majority of the students he sleeps with have been his children or his legacies. Like damn, I get ichor doesn't exactly have DNA and shit, but like...dude. Seriously? Kink af.

Also, for the god of truth and poetry, he can't rhyme for shit and lies a lot. But his archery is good, just don't ask which twin is better. It ends in contests that end up ruining the property, using anything as a target as the twins compete to prove that they are better.

Mention Helios to Apollo and he'll start crying. No one knows why, exactly.

He calls Artemis Diana, Diane, and Jana at times, her Roman name.

Apollo, having once sought to marry Cora and Hestia, will hit on the goddesses until Artemis pulls him away by his ear, scolding him.

Don't dis Leto near him, he'll straght up shoot you in the bum with an arrow. And remember, he isn't Cupid. So it HURTS(maybe not as much as a heartbreak, but bloody butts aren't fun fam).

Seriously, who thought having a man-child run a school would be a good idea?! God damn it, Zeus. He'll ruin our children's minds(and bodies?)!

He tries to be cool, god rest his children's chance at being popular. Being born of Apollo is social suicide. He babies the fuck out of them, too.

Failing a class, need a better grade? Seduce the headmaster. He easy as hell, too. He'll bump you up a letter, depending on how good you do him. Rare for a student to go from F to A, though. but if it does happen, boy oh boy, they a beast in the sheets, often stay as his fb for a good few months because of this.

He cries after climax. And he sleeps with a teddy bear, maybe?

he go daddy issues!

(view spoiler)[all of these rumors on Apollo are true, 'cept the teddy bear part. though he does sleep with a stuffed animal, it isn't a bear. Because of his epithets with wolves, it is a plush wolf. (hide spoiler)]

there's a rachel rey cookbook in aion's office
because he isn't the god of food and that's such a horribly kept secret that everyone pretty much just goes along with it simply because it's more convenient than having to deal with his dodgy bullshit

Were Artemis and Orion a thing? Like damn, they were supposed to be best friends but the one student who asked about him got shot. And the student was a girl.

Given her lack of patience with, well, everyone except the animals she works with, no one knows quite how she got this job? Most assume it's a result of her brother being the headmaster.

Seriously, why is she a teacher? Apparently Apollo has to double-check her grades on the boys since she tends to fail almost all of them. That and a habit of shooting the guys who look at her twice doesn't exactly make her safe around children.

Apollo can literally kiss your boo-boos better. And he will. "No, Artemis, it wasn't like that. They had a cracked lip, it was bleeding. I swear!"

Apollo wears laurel and hyacinth scented products - body wash, hand soap, shampoo, deodorant, after shave, perfume, etc - to give him the illusion that his lovers are near or it is their scent lingering on him after a night of 'fun'.

The laurel tree in the quad courtyard and the many hyacinth patches are Zeus' reminder of Apollo's many short comings.

Artemis complains about Apollo every chance she gets, but the last student (or teacher) that talked bad about him ended up with an arrow in the eye socket.

if you ask aion nicely and maybe bring him a good snack, he'll boost your grade up to an A regardless of the initial grade

For a foreign language teacher, Seth doesn't seem to like to talk much. He has an annoying habit of vanishing in the middle of a conversation if he gets uncomfortable or upset.

as established above, apollo sleeps with his own demigods, but did you also know: He makes dad jokes in bed. Why? JUST WHY?!

"In other news, Hecate. She's....weird. Like really weird. I dunno man, not sure if I want to be alone with her. And oddly seductive? Like, will she try to jump my bones or turn me into a toad? Mixed signals" - some random student who has Hecate's class

Hecate can be at four places at once! Guess the whole triple goddess thing allows her to quad-locate. But I thought it was triple, not quadruple. Then again, that is said to represent the phases of the moon, maybe the fourth is the dark/new moon? Very creepy, seeing in the cafeteria, then again near the dorms lecturing her children, then again flirting with a teacher. Like, stop. What are you, Argus? Everywhere, watching everyone...creepyass witch.

TRY YOUR BEST TO AVOID TOSSING FRUITS TO YOUR MATES.

Throwing an apple is seen as a form of proposal, and the headmaster isn't very bright ooh that pun tho and does't understand that mortals uses rings in this century. So he WILL throw you a party and congratulate you young lovers. Beware. The. Apple. He does this to his children a lot.

Pantheonium does not have first aid kits. They have solace kits, meaning comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness, as well as sol - the sun. They can be identified by their six sided sun symbol, a variation of the school's logo. They come with a complimentary feel-better poem. Which would be nice, if they weren't so terrible.

Like a month ago these posters for this sex line just kind of.... appeared? No one really admits they call it but a lot do, and once they call they just can't keep themselves from calling again, just to hear that voice. The thing is, no one knows who's actually running the line.

Apollo calls Artemis "Dia" sometimes, a shortened version of Diana, but it also means "Day," a subtle reference to himself, god of the sun(and by extension, daylight and daytime), though some might argue he isn't smart enough to have known that and merely just shortened her Roman name because Dia sounds pretty, and who doesn't love cute, short nicknames? He is in favor of Pheebs for himself - there isn't much you can do with "Apollo" to sound cute, except for the innuendo of Apollyon, "Destroyer," destroy of...well, you already know. ;)

A very NSFW rumor about Eros.
(view spoiler)[
Cupid is sometimes depicted blindfolded and described as blind, not so much in the sense of sightless—since the sight of the beloved can be a spur to love—as blinkered and arbitrary. Shakespeare once wrote:

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
Nor hath love's mind of any judgement taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.
And therefore is love said to be a child
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled

- A Midsummer's Night Dream

In truth, it is because of Zephyrus. The two enjoy BDSM in the bedroom. But the erotic and kinky nature of Eros does not end here. (He also has poor eyesight and enters a blind rage when angered.)

We all know Cupid is depicted as a child, always in diapers on Valentine's Day cards. One legend said no matter how much nectar and ambrosia he was fed, he remained a child. Whispers among the gods state this is partly true. Eros is part of that lb-lg/D + AB/DL kink, hence the 'always a child' and the wearing of diapers. It is all role play and fetishes. They say if you see Eros wearing long pants - not (booty)shorts, but ones which go beyond the knee - you can bet your money he is wearing a diaper(and a chastity cage). Makes you wonder, he was the adopted son of Ares. Could there be more to their relationship than foster father and son? (hide spoiler)]

Outside of Cupid's golden love arrows and his lead arrows of aversion, his silver arrows are said to induce a stronger, lasting desire than his mere gilded arrowheads of fancy, and his steel-iron tips are fatal love wounds which never heal. A burning, passion that lasts a lifetime. Dreaming of them, thinking of them twenty-four seven. They are barbed, hard to remove, as this kind of love is hard to get over and almost impossible to move on from. He is particularly cruel in his use of these. Making men and women fantasize about someone they can never have. He carries a lance or spear - essentially an over sized arrow itself - which he calls the Heart Breaker, a deadly weapon indeed, it does as the name implies, it kills love and shatters hearts, leaving only an empty space in the victims chest: a break up, a rejection, a death of a loved one. The pain is a result of his mighty javelin. He will occasionally poison his arrows with a sickening love potion, that flushed cheeked, pale skin, quick-pulsed, butterfly-in-the-stomach, near-vomiting, dizzying nervousness one gets being around someone they have (unconfessed) feelings for. He collects the chordae tendinae (tendinous chords) from his victims and uses the heart strings for his harp. Without question, Love is a sadist. Except in bed, then he's a total masochist.

Hot wax, whips, gags, and everything. Just ask Zephyrus. Or Psyche.

His arrows are dipped in fire, "because love wounds and inflames the heart."

He is jealous of Anteros because of his butterfly wings. Of course, someone as queer as he would want to look like a fairy. *snort* and his wife got them as well. What, bird wings aren't good enough for him?

Anteros and he used to fight, but Anteros always has his back, as the god who both opposes love and who avenges it when scorned or not returned. He has a golden club to bonk people over the head with, or maybe he uses it to paddle people when they requite love, and his lead arrows are the same as Eros', for love not returned, hence the name Anti-Eros.

I bet Eros used those steel iron tips on Zephyrus and Apollo, did you see how they looked when they saw someone who goes by Hyacinth was enrolling?

Eros has been trying to get Zephyrus to let him be a guest speaker at his sex ed class for years now. The day that actually happens, ooh baby. You gonna learn today!

A lot of gods and nymphs are responsible for the flowers and trees we know today. Adonis and the anemone, Narcissus and narcissus, Hyacinthus and hyacinth. But the rose?

Chloris is said to have made it from the dead body of a nymph, and asked Eos and Iris to spread the word of the new Queen of Flowers. Iris borrowed a touch of rose’s color for the red in her rainbows, while Eos painted the morning sky in rose-tinted hues. Eros offered it as a bribe to Harpocrates (god of silence), hoping to cover up his mother’s recent indiscretions from reaching Hephaestus' ears. Thus, roses would also come to be associated with silence and secrecy (Latin: sub rosa meaning ‘under the rose’).

Eros is also cited as the culprit behind the existence of a rose’s thorns. Eros loved his roses. One day, while leaning in to kiss his most beloved rose, Eros was stung by a nectar gathering bee hiding inside the flower. Angered and annoyed, he retreats to the arms of his mother, Aphrodite, relaying the tale of his dismay. Not wishing to see her cherished son so distraught, Aphrodite gifts Eros with a magical quill of arrows to help him settle the score. Feeling vindicated, the winged Eros returns to the garden, firing a flurry of arrows down at the rose bushes below. The thorns are seen as the places where his arrows missed their mark. Aphrodite found this particularly adorable, as he had stated such a small creature should not possess such a painful thing, which she responded to by telling him he was small and likewise possess a deadly sting.

And it is said that the very word “rose” originated when Chloris, the Goddess of Flowers, in pain upon being struck by Eros' arrow, was unable to properly pronounce the word Eros but made it sound like “ros”. From this the word “rose” becomes a synonym for Eros.

Finally, another myth - one which Eros enjoys telling - is that the rose was born from the blood of Psyche when she lost her virginity to him. And that is why it is so precious to him. It was made when she became his wife and mother of his daughter.