The Humour Club discussion

Anyone but me notice that fortune cookie fortunes have been getting lamer lately? Most of the ones I get aren't even fortunes! They're becoming as dry as the cookies they occupy. I'm guessing that we here at The Humour Club could probably think up some far better ones, if we set our deranged minds to it. Am I wrong? Huh? AM I WRONG?!!!

Reality is for the unimaginative.

You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man...and he'll steal your purse.

Joel wrote: "Anyone but me notice that fortune cookie fortunes have been getting lamer lately? Most of the ones I get aren't even fortunes! They're becoming as dry as the cookies they occupy. I'm guessing that ..."

Wonton Foods is the largest maker of fortune cookies. Their chief fortune writer, Donald Lau just retired after 30 years. He says he suffers from writer's block, and "Now people want new inspirational sayings that promote Yogi tea bad-style well-being."

I like it when they started out with "Confucius say....".

Some of my favorites: "Stop eating now. Food poisoning no fun", "Your reality check is about to bounce", "Don't panic, but you are going to die".

All fortune cookies should say Put down stupid phone and pay attention to companion.

Melki wrote: "All fortune cookies should say Put down stupid phone and pay attention to companion."

Excellent!

Yeah, I think Melki has it.

How about a few scary ones???

Your mother knows you're not "studying with friends."

'help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory against my will!'

Joseph wrote: "'help! I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory against my will!'"

Perfect!

'our restaurant uses cookies to make sure you get the best experience possible. if you are happy with this just continue eating'

Actually the sting should be at the end of the joke.

“Help. I’m a prisoner in a fortune cookie bakery

Nope, should be:
'Help, I'm a prisoner in a fortune cookie!'

I prefer the cookies that offer ancient wisdom.